[00:00:00] 


Introduction and Technical Setup
---

Doug: What? 

Josiah: We'll try it out. Let's go. 

Doug: not?

Music_bed: Do You

Josiah: Welcome to the Jokes by Jo show. I am your host Josiah James. I'm here with the lovely co host Doug McKizzle. 

Doug: Hello, hello. 

Josiah: We are testing out video today. So, we pardon the any technical difficulties that we are going to have. 


Unexpected Guest Absence
---

Josiah: We were supposed to have a guest. He unfortunately had a last minute family emergency, so he had to 

Doug: to.

Damn you, Sam. 

Josiah: Damn Sam. Damn you. But hopefully we will have we'll have Sam back on the show. 

Doug: Anytime. 

Josiah: March, I guess, because February's booked. but we'll I 

Doug: Colin wants to get on. Yeah, 

Josiah: on. 

Yeah, yeah. So I'll try to sneak him in at some point. 

And I'm just going to be playing around with these different views here, because there's.

There's three [00:01:00] cameras. That's where Sam is supposed to sit right there. 

Doug: What do you got? Oh yeah. I see the 

three. 

Yeah. 

Josiah: Three, three, three. So now I'm going to be switching 

Doug: cameras, 

Josiah: cameras manually because the auto stuff's not working, 

Doug: Yeah. 

Josiah: What

are you going to do? Alright. Our agenda. 

Doug: What's the, uh, what are we, what are we doing today?

Oh, 

Josiah: Oh, well, I guess we gotta bring back Coco since we don't have a guest. Coco's gotta fill in for. 

Doug: Yeah. For Sam. Yeah. 

Josiah: okay. Well, I'll just go to 

you full screen. 

Doug: Yeah. 


Doug's Lost Phone Adventure
---

Doug: So, yesterday was my wife's grandmother's funeral down in South Jersey. 

Josiah: Oh, I'm very sorry to hear that.

Doug: Yeah. She was, I mean, absolute, uh, when you talk about somebody who's just pure good, she's that person. And, uh, but the, so, My wife and I drove separate so that my wife can get down. It was like two hours away. So, near Long Beach Island. And

so

she [00:02:00] leaves and then I get up and I, you know, I start getting ready to go and I put my suit on and everything.

And I had my cell phone I thought this is what I thought I did. I thought I put it in my jacket. Right. And Then I took my jacket off and put it in my back seat and I had to go to the gas station. 

Josiah: Light suit jacket or winter jacket. 

Okay. 

Doug: So I'm driving to the gas station and one of the turns I took, I heard the phone fall, like like as if it slipped out of my jacket pocket.

And so I was like, I'll just get it at the gas station. And I get to the gas station and I can't find it. And that's when I was like, holy shit. I think I put it on the roof of my car. 

Josiah: Oh no. Like a coffee like you do when you're getting in. 

Doug: And I never put anything on the roof of my car. Like this, that stuff has never happened to me.

So I, so I go, I was like, all right, I got to, Go find it. You know, I got it where I heard it fall and I, so this is only like five minutes later and I come back and it's not there. I can't find it [00:03:00] anywhere. So then I go on that app for iPhones where you can find my phone or whatever. And it was already showing.

On like like about a two miles from my house, the opposite direction. 

Josiah: Someone had picked it up already. 

Doug: I'm like somebody stole it that fucking fast. Right. And so I was, and I was pissed. I was so pissed, but I FaceTime Lauren on my iPad to tell her what happened and say, I don't have a phone right now.

And GPS in my car. So, you know, two hour drive by myself, I've already accepted it. I'm like, all right, Tomorrow I'm going to go get a new phone. I got insurance on it, everything. And and I'm like, calm about it now. It was actually good to be detached. You know what I mean?

And and you're not really taking pictures at a funeral. You know what I'm saying? It wasn't like a birthday party or 

Josiah: Right. 

Doug: So, so we have dinner and we drive back and we got home at around nine o'clock and I looked it up again. I said, let me see if it's still showing in that same spot [00:04:00] it was like the corner of 191 and Butztown road.

Right. And it was showing at the municipal building for lower Nazareth. And I was like, I was like, Oh, maybe somebody found it and dropped it off there. Like maybe they have a lost and found. 

Josiah: and 

Doug: And I'm looking through like the website to see if there is a lost and found for it. And there's nothing right.

There's nothing showing that. So I was like, well, I'll stop by there in the morning to see why it's showing there now. And I wake up, go there and the lady at the front door is like, desk, she, I'm like, uh, I said, I lost the phone yesterday and she had this big smile on her face and she goes, what's your email? And I told her my email and I said, but I had, Oh, I forgot to say I already erased.

You can erase all the information off the phone. 

Josiah: You get a remote wipe it. 

Doug: Right. And I did that already. So, And I said, it's me and my, my, I said, my family on the screensaver. And I was like, wait, I erased it. And then she, she went and got it. [00:05:00] And she comes back and she goes, one of the town roads, men 

Josiah: or something like 

Doug: some, some city worker found it, brought it back to his to the garage, which is on Butztown, which is why I saw it there.

And then, and that's an old garage and then took it over to the municipal building. She kept it charged because she could see that I was trying to find it and put it in the window of her office. So that it got a signal. I can't tell you the the, the way my day started 

Josiah: Oh, That's 

Doug: on Like having hope for humanity.

Josiah: Yeah. Oh, that was 

this morning. 

Doug: Oh, that was, that was, yeah, that was this morning.

Josiah: that's amazing.

came 

Doug: out, it wasn't dented or anything like that. And

Josiah: But

Doug: uh, yeah, I mean, my brain went, I, if you would've heard how, like the amount of cursing I was doing yesterday, like, 

Motherfuckin thieves, 

Josiah: that's your life. Your life is 

Doug: well, I mean 

it to me I think of it simpler like I can get a new phone I can transfer everything from the [00:06:00] cloud onto that new phone.

That's that I wasn't worried about that part of it. it was just it was just the fact that five minutes my phone's on the floor and my brain immediately went to

fucking this world sucks.

People are horrible.

Josiah: one of the biggest

Doug: Ah, And here it was one of the biggest gestures of humanity happening right in front of my eyes as I'm trying to scan it, you know what I 

Josiah: was just, 

Doug: And it was just, like I said, one of the, I'm going to go get like a I didn't get to meet the guy that found it, but I'm going to get like some kind of Wawa gift card or 

Josiah: something Yeah, I was actually just gonna say that. 

Doug: I mean, that, that, it just gave, little gestures like that give me 

Josiah: did, Did 

you, um, did you tip her or anything? 

Doug: No, no, no, no. That's 

what I mean. I'm gonna, I'm gonna what Do 

Josiah: it like a thank you card? and 

Doug: yeah. And Lauren said that she knew the lady cause Lauren's been to that, building. and that was one of the other things too.

Lauren When I showed it at the, you know, where it was on the map, she was like, Oh, she goes, that's the, that's the new municipal building. And she told me, you know, she's like, you know, where it forks go up there. So that kind of helped where she,[00:07:00] 

gave,

you know, 

Josiah: because you couldn't find it cause you didn't have your phone.

Doug: Well, I was on my iPad. You know what I mean? Like, using my iPad. Yeah. So, but anyway, like I said, it was just, it was,

Josiah: it. 

Doug: it's

times like that, that just that,

Josiah: maybe, Maybe 

2025 isn't going to be so 

Doug: Well, I 

mean, it is, but it's, it's, it's, I go beyond, I go beyond our country, beyond our government and all, I'm talking humanity in general.

It's those little tiny gestures that I have.

Josiah: Yeah.

it brings faith back to 

Doug: holding the door for somebody. I mean, yeah, that's fine and all that. But when you, when somebody goes out of their way, they saw it on the street, thought that somebody is going to want that back and then took care of it.

And then this lady. saying, Oh, I can see that he's trying to get it. Let me keep a chart. You know, just 

all that it's, and it's so easy to do. It's so easy to be nice.

Josiah: And

why did 

you put it on the roof of your car? You were trying to get in. 

Doug: I must've, and I don't remember exactly doing it, but I must've like put it on the roof and then tried to take my [00:08:00] jacket off or something.

I thought I put it in the pocket, but I, apparently I didn't. And so that's why when it, when I heard it, I heard it like like that. And I was like, Oh, it just, Yeah. And I was like, when I get to the gas station, I'll just, you know, 

Josiah: you got so 

Doug: Oh my dude, it didn't get run over. I mean, there was so many things that could have happened with that.

You know, I was like, when I got back to the house, there was an Amazon driver in the neighborhood. I'm like, that motherfucker stole my goddamn phone. You know what I mean? Like, I was like, I was, I was hating humans, humans, all 

Josiah: humans. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And, 

Doug: and here it was. the nicest thing happening to me right then. 

Josiah: That's amazing.

All right. So, so you hear that, everyone? There's still hope for humanity because Doug has reclaimed his phone. 

Doug: I have my phone back 

through the kind gestures of lower Nazareth citizens. 

Yeah. 


Podcast and Video Discussion
---

Josiah: Yeah So now now people can watch us rather than just 

Doug: no and and and that's what I am saying is

I think that's where it is now. People, people, [00:09:00] people do like, like Lauren likes to listen to the podcast while she's on a drive.

You know what I mean? And stuff like that. I know my buddy Jamie, when he's working, he'll listen to it. Yeah. And like, uh, you know, a couple of people, they, they, they listen to the Jo, my neighbor friend. He, uh, listens to it. Just, I don't know. I, I feel like, I think he just like sits in the house and listens to it.

You know what I mean? But either way I know. When I watch a podcast you get the facial expressions and stuff like that that just makes it a 

Josiah: I mean, obviously 

the big one is Joe Rogan 

experience everyone. Everyone's 

watching 

that. I 

Doug: Mean, I watch it when like Neil deGrasse Tyson. 

Josiah: Oh, yeah, he's 

Doug: Yeah, he's he's my favorite

person 

Josiah: He's

amazing. 

Doug: mean besides my brother and all 

Josiah: did you see him 

on Bill Maher any talk show? He's on He's he's just great. 

Doug: didn't see him on Bill Maher, but I seen him on 

What's that that English douchebag that was on like America's Got Talent, now he has his own show, I think on Fox or something.

Josiah: Simon

Cowell? 

Doug: Uh, no, no, no.

no, no.

Imagine him having [00:10:00] an apoxonate. 

Josiah: in the back.

Doug: Your government is awful. I don't know, whatever the guy's name is but he was on there talking about they were talking about, what he was trying to do was trying to get Neil deGrasse Tyson pigeonholed into saying that if he can't explain everything in space, then he has to say that it's God.

who 

Josiah: Oh, right, right. The God 

Doug: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he said something and I'm going to screw it up the way he said it, but

He

said, anytime religion was the reason for something that people couldn't explain. and, And when they made it because of religion or God, there's a God that is making that happen.

science has been able to prove what is actually happening. He said, so with the with the amount of, or with, with the evolution of the knowledge that we're given with science is the the receding proof that there is a God. [00:11:00] 

Josiah: That's cool. 

Doug: And he said right now, he sort of, and this has been measured that the amount that we know about space is equivalent to walking up to the shore of, you know, to the beach and taking a wine glass, picking it up and that's all we know about space, but it is as vast as the ocean.

And so we're 

Josiah: a lot 

to discover. 

Doug: Yeah. We're still on the, you know, the very tip of the iceberg on what we know and all the stuff that we already know. But 

Josiah: Space is like, your, someone's cell phone on top of a car that falls off and you don't know where it is. 

Doug: And here it is. A God found it Left it

with this wonderful angel at the municipal building.

And that angel brought 

me back. 

Josiah: back. Yeah,

that's right. Yeah, I love me some Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Um,

There was some stuff, some comedy stuff in the news I wanted to talk about. 


Bill Burr and Comedy News
---

Josiah: I think I sent you an article about Well, actually, did you see do you catch the, Howie Mandel podcast at all?

Doug: Mm-hmm.

Josiah: He had Bill Burr on.

[00:12:00] Know you love Bill Burr. Yeah. So, so Bill Burr was on the podcast and do you know who Billy Corgan is? The lead singer for smashing. 

Doug: Oh yes. Yes. 

Josiah: So, so they look.

Well, I

went to Sam and he's not here.

You should just do that. Okay.

We should, put a picture. 

Doug: should get a 

Josiah: you think of that, Sam?

We should put a picture of just 

Sam's face, 

Doug: like in the worst, like possible look that he could like find a, find like a video and pause it on like a really bad. and

Josiah: bad Oh yeah, yeah. 

Doug: it'd be like right here. Yeah. And just every time.

Josiah: And

just

Doug: still, And just do like a horrible impression of him.

We could have, 

Josiah: we could have, we could have AI be his voice. 

Doug: And just have it doing like,

It's just, you just see, I,

Josiah: It's too bad. Cause on his on his Chiron display, I have, I don't know if you can see it on this one. [00:13:00] I have Sam Grim comedian. And what does it say? Hurley's stunt double on Lost. So for those of you who've seen Lost Sam reminds me a lot of the character Hurley. Yeah. Just because of the hair and Yeah. and his attitude and stuff. That's not staying.

Oh,

Doug: got

the cord under it. Yeah. Thanks, Doug. 

Josiah: Doug. You could, you should be my pro, my my 

Doug: producer. I should 

be the, the, the, like, The guy who knows nothing about tech, tech guy.

Josiah: So we'll see. I did want to talk, I did want to bring up this Bill Burr thing because and then, and then this is going to be interesting. To see if we can get this to work. 

Doug: He got into some, and it's funny cause I, saw something on YouTube where, cause he was on Jimmy Kimmel and said the thing about the fires.

Josiah: Yes, yes, we're gonna, we're gonna talk about that. 

Doug: They 

started talking about all these right wing podcasters that were downing him for that. And it's funny because every single one of them, I, I don't know who the hell they are. I've never seen their face before, or anything like that. [00:14:00] But there was one guy.

The

guy who was like showing it 

Josiah: Yeah, 

Doug: he was doing he he couldn't show the Jimmy Kimmel thing on his YouTube page for licensing reasons But he was doing an impression of him with like still photos from the interview

And it was,

it was pretty spot on. It was, It was really good. 

Twinsies.

Josiah: Look how 

nervous his 

Doug: his hands are. Bill Burr, like he just wants to punch, he wants to punch Howie Mandel in the face. 

Josiah: you ever think the fact that I never 

told that story.

Do you know what story he's talking about? 

Doug: No. 

Josiah: They look exactly alike. Billy Corgan told

a story

that they might have. They might share the same father. Oh, so they might be brothers. So let me just fill it out. let me just fill it. Do we talk on a regular basis? No, we've never met.

It

was nice enough on my podcast, 

Doug: to talk about the fact that

Josiah: told a

story that he never told before, that his 

father traveled.

My stepmother said to me,

Doug: you know

Josiah: do you know who Bill Burr is? Bill 

Doug: Burr might 

Josiah: might be [00:15:00] one of the children that your father sired, um, in his days on being a traveling musician, 

Doug: dude, they talk the same. Yeah, they look the same. They do They gotta get a DNA test, but he'll never do that. No. No, he never, he never wants to do that DNA stuff.

He's 

I don't think I've ever seen him 

Josiah: this pissed. He's so mad. 

Doug: He's a hundred percent mad 

Josiah: He's sitting 

next to a celebrity. Well, 

Doug: is he. 

I've just never seen Bill Burr, like, I, you know, you, you, he always comes off angry in his act. But I've never seen him actually completely angry and I could just tell, like, you could see the way he can't stop rubbing his legs and just.

He's so uncomfortable. He's so like pulled back in that chair. 

Josiah: Like

Doug: He's got his hand, He's got his hand in his pocket. Like he's just hiding everything he wants to say. 

Josiah: Yeah. So that's the story. If you guys haven't heard that Billy Corrigan and

Bill Burr might be actually brothers and, and I can see the resemblance we'll post a clip in the show notes.

So, okay. and [00:16:00] then to your point Bill Burr and Shane Gillis are doing a comedy show to benefit, actually I think they just did it yesterday, to benefit the victims of the fires in LA. And yeah, he was on Jimmy Kimmel talking about he did a bit about fires,

ah, I dunno if that's gonna work. that made it even worse. Nice.

Doug: How

often do you get to test this stuff? ? No, no, no. I'm not, I'm, not making a joke. I, I, I, I swear to God, I'm not making a joke. 

Josiah: I tested it today I didn't have much time. 

Doug: Yeah, that's what I mean. I think like, 

Josiah: I'm so busy. I needed to like take a day and just try to figure everything out.

Doug: just yeah, that's, and that's, that's why I'm asking. because I know you got two kids, you got work, you got, you know, all that stuff, the dogs, everything. And and that's why I wonder like. 

Josiah: You know, 

Doug: how much time do you get to try it out? And because, like,

I

have something, I have this simple DJ mixer.

Very, it's like the most basic level, and I still have, like, so much shit that I'm figuring out about it and [00:17:00] trying to, figure out and getting frustrated. because I'm 

Josiah: definite learning curve to this. 

Doug: did 

I mix? I couldn't, it looked so easy. 

Josiah: Do you ever, do you ever forget 

to hit record? 

Okay. 

Doug: Because I'm not 

Josiah: two.

Doug: now. no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It would be the worst DJ mix 

Josiah: okay, okay, okay. Hey, Sam. Sorry you couldn't be with us today.

I'm sure I could put a, I could get a I

could

Doug: I

Josiah: actually do this. I'll get the, the, the tripod there, right? 

Doug: You get the tripod 

Josiah: put his face Facebook. 

Doug: But it has to be like a voice that's nowhere 

Josiah: No, no, 

no voice, but I'll just get his picture. 

Doug: okay. Yeah, 

yeah. 

Josiah: Let's see.

Like, what else are we doing? By the way, I'm back on Facebook. I haven't been there in four years. Yeah. Photos. All right. Which one? Should we use this one? I know this one. Okay.

Alright, let's see what 

that does.

Doug: we're broken. [00:18:00] Hold on. I tried to zoom in. Yeah, we could do,

um, Yeah, that

Josiah: You want us, you want it to zoom in. 

Doug: I think you should get it like in here so like it just faces like right on in the camera. 

Josiah: Well, He's gotta have the microphone because he's on

the podcast. Oh, That's 

Doug: right.

Josiah: Okay.

Doug: Gotta

Josiah: Sam, I'm sorry you couldn't be here. We'll, we'll come back to you later. Alright. 

Alright, So what else did I want to talk about? You got anything on your mind, Doug? 


Personal Stories and Reflections
---

Josiah: well there 

Doug: was that just what happened yesterday. 

Josiah: Oh, the funeral? 

Doug: Yeah. 

Like I said though, my, but the biggest, event for me this week was I had to work the weekend and, I My son

made his first basketball shot in the game. 

Josiah: I 

saw that 

video you posted. 

Doug: I watched it like I probably watched it a hundred times the easily a hundred times I just like I've analyzed every single part like he really looked at the rim and [00:19:00] you know he it was it was really cool to watch and like I said, I was in the control room at work and

I'm usually alone, but every now and then people pop in to tell me something or ask something, you know, and

uh, I'm in

this control room at work watching this video and I'm like bawling, like tears running down my face and I really, like, I forgot that I was at work.

Josiah: dad moment. Yep. 

Doug: Yeah, and then I'm at work and I'm like, oh shit, I gotta, and then I'm, and then I'm worried because I'm like, I gotta wipe my eyes and if somebody walks in right now. And then I was worried, like, oh, I can't really talk to anybody for like an hour Cause they're going to think I'm stoned Cause my eyes are red, you know what I mean?

It's like this whole thing. So, I got to make sure I don't watch those videos at work. I got to save that for, her or just run out to my car or 

Josiah: car. Yeah, well, and you see them doing something so you see the kids 

Doug: have.

Yeah. [00:20:00] Well, and you see them doing something so, you see the kids doing something so like, where that's the biggest thing in the world to him, you know, is that moment kids live so much in the moment. They're not thinking about an hour from now. They're just thinking about that particular moment where we're flooded with the future and you know, our bills and, and just everything about their future, you know what I mean?

And stuff like that. And to see them in those little moments where they are, they, they don't, you know, nothing else matters, but that one thing, it makes you feel like you're doing something right because they're not worried about all this other crap. And then all the stuff I was worried about growing up, you know what I mean?

That he has, that's never been a thing to him. I mean, he has a, He has a playroom. First of all, I mean, that's, I 

Josiah: have 

one of those growing 

think you're good. So I wore a hat today because you always have a hat on and I didn't get a chance to do my hair.

I've, let it grown in in, I know you're laughing 'cause I'm bald. but, [00:21:00] uh, 

Doug: my

bald head. Like uh, 

Josiah: like, uh, I'll show you. So, when I don't do the sides, Okay, so

this,

So obviously, I no hair up here. there's a little. 

And then the sides, so I look like a, a monk, you know.

Oh, yeah, yeah. And so I was like, I'll just throw a hat on. 

Yeah. Fucking shoot back, dude. You know that's, 

Doug: It's a thing called, uh, it's definitely the headphones. It's a thing, this girl told me about this. Cause

she said, you always wear a hat every time I see some chick at the bar. 

You always wear a hat.

Josiah: you have great hair. 

Doug: and that's the thing. she goes, Are you bald or something? And I trolled her, I was like, No, not at all. And, uh, She was like, she goes, Oh, I thought you were hat fishing. I guess that's a thing online, like dating apps. 

Josiah: Oh. 

Doug: never, that's the great thing is, I, me and Lauren, Lauren and I met right when those date apps started.

So, like, I never had to use those. But I do know people that have, have full relationships, got married. I mean, we have friends that are, you know, have wonderful lives that met on those apps. So I [00:22:00] do see the positive in those

apps.

But apparently there's some negatives and one of those is, uh, hat fishing.

So women have to be suspect of a dude who has hats on in all of his pictures

because,

And when you meet them, you know,

Josiah: yeah, yeah. Which

Doug: Cracks me up because I mean, 

Josiah: don't know. 

Doug: it's, it's one of those things, like we, we think

we, we,

society likes to tell us that women are that men are so like picky. And so like, they, Oh my God, like, I have to do my nails. I have to do my makeup because, and all this, where it's like, yeah, we gotta do shit too though. I mean, don't get me wrong.

I can get away with a beer belly way more than a woman could and not be looked at. Well, people won't look at it twice versus we judge women. You know, I think we, women are definitely more scrutinized 

Josiah: Absolutely. Well, 

and, and the, the magazines and 

Doug: Yeah. No, absolutely. 

Even with this push in the [00:23:00] last couple of decade or so where they're trying to have like plus size 

Josiah: Right. right?

Doug: Which, uh, which I don't mind. I don't, I, my brother and I worked at a hotel the Hyatt Regency in Denver. And we had a big fashion show that came to our hotel and they you know, we had to build the runway for them. We had to do all that. Then they had like a banquet and all this stuff. And 

Josiah: I we, we, 

Doug: was a catwalk thing at the top and we were able to see behind the catwalk. the curtain.

And watch them doing their changing and it was the grossest, it looked like something out of Auschwitz, like these women We're so disgustingly 

Josiah: but 

they're 

models, 

Doug: Well, yeah, I mean, they're pretty faces, but their bodies are just, it, 

Josiah: you're saying they were, they were 

Doug: at all.

Josiah: Mountain 

malnutrition or 

Doug: it 

looks it that I remember that moment changed everything for me. about models and how, gross. You know what I mean? Cause it, cause I've never been into, I never been into a girl that was [00:24:00] like skinny, like a rail, that, that always just got to have something to you. You know what I mean?

Josiah: Did you see, did you see Wicked?

Mm mm.

Are you into musicals at all? 

Doug: no, not that one. Yeah, 

Josiah: But the reason I bring it up, 

Doug: which is 

weird because I love the Wizard of Oz and that is a 

Josiah: well This is the, I don't know if you know anything 

Doug: Yeah, no I do yeah 

Josiah: the origin story. 

Doug: It's the third most grossed they, they've made the third most money on Broadway.

Phantom of the Opera. Uh, no, no, not Phantom of the Opera. No, it's funny, my wife got me this shirt. yeah, Lion King. Lion King's number one. Yeah. And then there's another one, but, uh, that one. is, I

think, third. I know because the reason why they brought up Phantom of the Opera was because it is the most

it's been seen by the most people, but not the highest grossed Or something like that. Some weird stat like that. My wife got me this, uh, trivia book for New York [00:25:00] on Christmas. So I've been reading that.

Josiah: Yeah, that probably helps

you at, Jordan Lanes, right? Trivia night. 

Doug: gets you regular.

Josiah: regular. Yeah.

Yeah. 


Trivia Night at Dave & Buster's
---

Josiah: I, I, I popped into Dave Buster's one day with, with Ryan Rozelle, who was season one co host of the Jokes But Jo Show.

And it just happened to be a trivia night, so we just sat and did trivia. And we ended up 

On a phone. 

Doug: So, but did they ask you to question and then play a song or, Uh. like how quick, how, how fast do you get? 

Josiah: you have you had a couple minutes to 

Doug: yeah. See, 

that's terrible. Yeah. 


Cheating in Trivia Games
---

Doug: And, and Everybody's cheating. 

Yeah. 

Josiah: So we got second place, which is kind of cool. But they guys, 

Doug: you guys didn't cheat as good? as the first place . 

Josiah: We didn't cheat at all actually, but yeah, it's on your phone. I don't know how they do it at your place, but yeah. Do they have like a device where you actually push in the, 

Doug: you have a tablet, I mean, you can bring your own iPad or whatever, but 

Josiah: it's, 

Doug: you only have 10 seconds to answer.

Josiah: Oh, wow. So, 

okay. 

Doug: And you have 10 seconds and if you answer first, you get bonus points. So you're [00:26:00] incentivized to, you know, Answer fast.

Um, you

know what I think it is? It's all my hand gestures. I'm I'm I use my hands a lot and I think it's telling the camera to do stuff.

Josiah: Oh, and it's fucking it up?

Yeah. I might have to turn off your 

gesture control.

Doug: yeah, let's do that. 

Josiah: do that. I use my hands a lot.

It's okay. It's cool. At least we're getting video out there so people can see. 


Comedy Show Recap
---

Josiah: Alright, So that's, we did the comedy show. Family Guy explains one of its most random jokes from season four.

Later. Later.

Again, if it's not going to be playing, I'm going to, I'm going to play it because, and this is all about Sam Grimm.

Let's cut to him. Uh, Sam, I understand.

I


Lehigh Valley's Funniest Comedian Contest
---

Josiah: understand you got a second place in Lehigh Valley's funniest

funniest comedian contest. You know, what was your, tell us how that went. How was it?

Doug: It

was the most uh, fun experience I have ever had in my life.

Uh,

I I was so nervous going into the second round, uh, but I brought my longest [00:27:00] and best jokes and, and I I came out strong and uh, I wasn't able to get the blue ribbon, but I was able to take home the silver and I'm quite 

Josiah: to take home the silver. I'm quite

happy. 

Doug: You're quite welcome.

Josiah: Piper. 

Doug: that's great. That's great. Oh my God. 

I said, take home the blue ribbon. Like he's a pig at a carnival. Yeah.

yeah, yeah.

Some of us are, Yeah. Sam. Yeah. maybe we could dial him in maybe, maybe Well, I mean, if he's dealing with a pipe breaking right 

Josiah: Yeah, that's true. 

Yeah. He said 

his, uh, his mom's house pipe broke.

Doug: Well, yeah, you know what it is today was like. The first time in forever. Everything's unfreezing. Yeah, 

Josiah: because it was a little warmer. All that expansion 

Doug: and, you know, stuff. 

Josiah: Expansion, contraction. 

Doug: That whole expansion 

and 

stuff. I should be a 

[00:28:00] handyman. Oh 

Josiah: god. What else? What else you want to talk about?

Sam's not here. Anything else? Do you want to, Oh, I got it. No, That's 

Doug: People wanna see that.

Josiah: don't

Doug: they

wanna see me biting my

Josiah: that. They

Doug: that's

Josiah: want to see me biting my lips all the time. that's such 

Doug: did you. put? 

Josiah: bad habit. Oh, 

Doug: Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I remember, I remember when you said that and I was like, 

Josiah: said that. 

Doug: Yeah. I was like, 

I was like, yeah, that's,

That's all I

am. That's all 

Josiah: And I was like, well, you know what? 

I could put comedian, podcaster, friend.

And it warms your heart, 

Doug: So you want to lie to the people? 

Josiah: the people. No!

I don't have many 

Doug: you mean friends to the people.

You're

I am. No, seriously. We've known each other for 15 years now. [00:29:00] 

Josiah: Uh, yeah, since 2008? Yeah. 

Doug: no, 2010. That's when I started. 

Josiah: started.

Okay, you started 

in 2010. I started in 2008. So I got two years up on you. Yeah. Yeah.

Doug: Oh.


Upcoming Roast Battle
---

Doug: I have a, uh, roast battle coming up.

Josiah: Is this,

is this the one with the strip club. 

Doug: Hmm.

What? Hmm?

Which one is that? Oh, no, no. That's the one in Harrisburg. Yeah, no, no, no, no. That one. I forget what happened. Why that didn't happen.

So I 

Josiah: you

Doug: it got canceled or something. Yeah, no, I never did that one. 

Josiah: This 

Doug: one's at Rivals in Easton on

Josiah: I

Doug: I don't know, I posted the flyer, but either way, I got a, I gotta roast Dan Shelly. he's still doing 

Josiah: still 

doing comedy. Oh, yeah, Oh, great. 

He's, 

Doug: him at any mics. I 

Josiah: know he, I haven't seen him at any mike's.

Doug: do it 

Josiah: Wow. Yeah. I mean, he used to do it a long, long time ago. Like, he came up when we were, when we were first 

Doug: He does the 

Josiah: and everything, right, that he does. 

Yeah. Yeah. 

Doug: everything, right?

Josiah: Oh, 

Doug: anytime something comes in my brain, but [00:30:00] the notes aren't worked out yet.

Like, to where I formed it into a, like a joke. but there's, yeah, 

Josiah: what's the date for that show? I 

Doug: I got a look, Let me say I got, 

Josiah: because I know the 

one you posted about you posted one for the Iron Mule that you're 

Doug: Yeah, I got that one. That's, that's a charity thing.

Josiah: Okay. So that's not the battle? 

Doug: the battle is March 11th. at rivals in Easton right in the downtown circle. Like in 

Josiah: Yep, yep. Like 

Doug: right down from Mother's. 

Josiah: I gotta go, I gotta go to 

Doug: Yeah. So it's 

Josiah: night of 

the week is that? That's 

Doug: a, I think that's a, I forget Wednesday maybe.

I gotta look at my calendar here. March 11th is a Tuesday. so it's Tuesday at it starts at eight, the doors open. I guess at seven. 

Josiah: and who's producing that show

Doug: Joey,

Joe uh, not uh, trepidino the other one.

Josiah: I

Doug: I Always forget his last name

This is terrible.

Josiah: I know another 

Doug: No you do if you see him, you know, him. he's The little he's friggin jacked.

He's got like he's, but he's kind of short curly [00:31:00] hair 

Um, 

Josiah: not ringing a bell. 

Doug: if you saw. him, you'd know him. 

Josiah: That's amazing because,

um, you were on the podcast giving your

Your roast for dice and that was hilarious. So you'll have to come on and give us your are they going to tape it?

Doug: it? If

I 

Josiah: If I ever figure out how to do video on here, 

we can yeah. but no, I'm looking forward to it. because, and, and Dan sent me a message when we found out we're going to be roasting each other. And he's like, 

Doug: he's like, Hey, you know, he's like, you're such a nice guy. Like, this is going to Like, um, I don't know what to write about you and stuff.

And I was like, well, don't hold back. Cause I'm certainly not.

Josiah: So

all

Doug: may not think I'm a nice guy after this. 

Josiah: battle. Is it all premeditated stuff? 

Doug: Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 

So.

And that's, and that's where I think Dice, uh, failed with me is because.

I had, as soon as they told me I was battling him, and then they moved the date. So he even had more time to, to write more stuff.

And when he when he was battling me, he, in the green room, he was writing jokes. And [00:32:00] I was like, I looked down and I like went to my, I have a dice roast, folder in my notes. And I was like scrolling going, dude. I picked five out of all of these. I was like, and that's just five that I like, workshopped with people and, and I got a big laugh on that.

I said, but I can go for like an hour just about you if you want. I was 

like, 

Josiah: were funny too. 

Doug: Oh, and, I and, and, and they were not, I, I appreciate you saying that, but I also know that they were, because I worked. Very hard on them. and I, I told them to like just random people that don't even know what he looks like You know what?

I mean, so I knew that it was I knew they were going to work with him being there To, to give the visual even make it more powerful 

Josiah: so you've already started on Dan Shelley stuff. 

Doug: Yeah Well just him. I've just started with notes. I don't have like uh, actual stuff. Yeah, like I know I want to say something about the guitar.

I know I'm gonna say like, you know, I'm gonna 

Josiah: Dan Shelley joke one, Yeah. Yeah. Dan Shelly, joke 

Doug: Yeah. And there's like childish [00:33:00] things were like if he says something, I'm gonna say, Oh, thank you, Dan smelly. You know what I mean? Stuff like that. You know what I mean? Like little tiny, but, but yeah, no, I just started my notes on that like last week and, and I'm.

Josiah: You gotta do something with, cause he, you know, his guitar and stuff that he 

Doug: Yeah, no, I'm definitely, I'm, there's something I wrote down Dan 

Josiah: Guitar. guitar. Okay. 

Doug: You know, just a bunch of stuff that I wrote down. But, but yeah, they're, like I said, they're just things that work. If I'm like, if I think of it, I just kind of , I go, okay, yeah, I got to make fun of that, but I don't know how I'm going to do it yet.

And so I'm looking, 

Josiah: I don't know if I could ever, 

I don't know if I could ever do a roast battle. 

Doug: Why? 

You'll take it too seriously. 

Oh, . yeah. '

Josiah: cause I think of it like a, like, like a rap battle where, you gotta think on your feet type stuff like like what Eminem did, you know, in the

Doug: In that 

scripted movie that he did?

No, Yeah!

No, no, no, he was, He was awesome at freestyling. 

Yeah. No, he's, he's really good at that. But so, this is [00:34:00] why I was so happy to get on that last roast battle is because Roasting roast battles. 


Childhood Memories and Roasting Friends
---

Doug: I mean if you grew up around me and my friends That's all we did I mean, that's all we did We, We only 

hung out with each other.

and that's all we did was make fun of each other. 

Josiah: of each other. 

Doug: everybody had this thing like snapping and all that stuff, but we didn't even consider it that we just regular conversation would break off my boy, Curtis Brown. He would destroy this dude, Eric Gordon that I grew up with. So it was all in the neighborhood.

It was me, Eric, James Curtis, his brother, Jason. I'd feel like I'm forgetting people, but either way, Oh, Mimi and all that Latifah, all of us would be hanging out on somebody's stoop. right?

Each building had four apartments, and so you hung out on somebody's stoop. And that's all it was, and most of it was Curtis.

Like, you always were on the sideline, like when Curtis was going in on Eric. You were [00:35:00] just happy Curtis wasn't going in on you, Cause he was the best. I mean, you could not You could not do anything to Curtis. He would destroy you, you'd be under your bed like sucking your thumb crying. because he was so good. No, I never lived in Brooklyn. I lived in uh, Yonkers. My friend of 15 

Josiah: years. This was actually 

Doug: this was actually in Dobbs Ferry. I, so, anyway, it's, it's, it's in Westchester, uh, New York, but anyway, uh, no, we would stand, like I said and so everybody, the way we all met was there's a place called Children's Village in Dobbs Ferry, and it was, at the time, it was just for boys that were, you know, being abused, uh, in their, at home and stuff like that, and so these people would go get them.

And bring them up there and, and, you know, it was basically like, I would say like a orphanage, I guess. And but the staff, they, they made staff housing. So it was this on top of this hill just below the just below the, the, the [00:36:00] children's village was buildings, a ton of bills like 20 buildings, I think, or something.

And each one had four apartments and it was all the people there worked at children's village. You couldn't even live there unless you worked at children's village. And, All the kids had moved from different areas. Like,

her.

Josiah: Unknown caller.

Is that, is that Sam?

Doug: No, it just says, unknown

Josiah: 8, 4 Might be Sam. 

You 

Doug: don't have them a Sam in your phone. 

Josiah: No, I don't even have his number. That'd be funny. If he called, let's see, 4, 8, 4. Would you like to reschedule? Is that 5 1 5 2 7? Is that who just 

Doug: I don't know. 

Josiah: Find out. phone recents. 

Doug: one five two seven 

Josiah: That's

him.

Doug: Call him back. 

Josiah: Call him back.

Doug: Wow, Lauren's grandparents were, they were married for over 70 years. imagine? Your whole life being, being there with 

Josiah: hello? Hey

dude, Can you hear me? 

Doug: There it [00:37:00] is. 

Josiah: Yeah, I can hear you. Can you hear us? yep.

Yep. Is

he coming through the headphones? I, 

Doug: I can hear him.

Josiah: Alright, hang on one second. 

Are you guys 


Technical Difficulties and Rescheduling
---

Josiah: doing the show right now? Yeah, we are. Let's see. Can you hear me now?

It's not working.

Yeah yeah, we are. We have a, we have you sitting at, we have a picture of you sitting at our in 

Doug: your, in your spot right now, actually.

Josiah: Uh, Doug's got a, Doug's got a jet, so we'll have to reschedule. But, um, yeah. But We'll definitely have to 

Doug: What, he said something about you had to go pipe your mom or something. What was, what's going on?

there's like 

Sam Grim: inch of water 

a ditch of water on 

on the fucking floor. So I had to empty out all her cupboards 

and, you know, all the water out beneath that shit.

It's, I want 

I didn't want to leave her with 

a fucking mess. 

Doug: No, yeah. Is it in the basement or [00:38:00] like the 

Sam Grim: No, 

she lives

in a modular,

it's, it, her, 

her,

uh, sink, it looks like the sink pipe froze, the,

Doug: Yeah.

Sam Grim: water going to the sink, and then once it un, it must

have burst

when it

Josiah: froze,

Sam Grim: and then

once it thawed out, it, you know.

Doug: I can be a handyman. I said that. I said expansion and stuff with it, with it getting

Josiah: absolutely.

Doug: Expansion and stuff.

Sam Grim: Yeah,

expansion, um, and stuff,

and stuff, 

frost wedging.

Josiah: webbing. Yeah. So you're on

the show right now, actually. So this is Sam Grimm. He's couldn't make it due to his mom's pipe bursting, but we are gonna have him back on the show. We'll reschedule soon. but It all depends on like Doug's work schedule is, is messed up.

Not messed up, but 

Doug: it's, It's the same every two 

Josiah: I Yeah.

Sam Grim: So we'll try

Josiah: we'll

try to find a date. 

Sam Grim: a date. 

Doug: I just work 12 hours and I work two days a week and every other weekend. [00:39:00] So one week it's Tuesday and Wednesday the other week it's Thursday and Friday.

Josiah: Hey, we got all three of us.

Sam Grim: Kim.

Well, I'm free all next week, man, if you want to get together. Um,

yeah. 

Doug: Yeah. 

I'll, Uh, 

Sam Grim: week 

Josiah: have Thursday we're doing the show with I think Tyler Rothrock, But then. , you'll have to let me know what the next day you have off. Maybe we can squeeze it in, in between shows.

Doug: What, 

Josiah: Getting Sam on. 

Doug: Oh Tuesday, when, next week. What is it? Thursday? I work Tuesday, Wednesday. I mean, we want to do it Wednesday. That's, I mean, 

Josiah: next Wednesday. 

Doug: just, let me, before I start saying that stuff, let me, 

Josiah: yeah, 

Doug: Because my wife has a calendar. And I try to read it like 

the day before.

So,

we'll

Josiah: We'll, we'll get back to you, Sam, on the, on a day next week that works. 

Doug: week that

Sam Grim: All right. Hell

yeah. Uh, next Wednesday I'm free. So yeah, just let me know.

Cool.

Josiah: free. So,

yeah, just

let me know. 

Doug: Yeah. He's got 

some cool, like a video technology going [00:40:00] on here.

It's pretty cool.

Josiah: So, so you'll, you'll get to see it hopefully flushed out without any kinks.

but

Sam Grim: Oh yeah.

Josiah: knock on wood. 

Doug: Sam likes kinks.

Josiah: Yeah. Not in pipes. Frozen solid pipes.

Yeah, Yeah. All right. Cool. Sam. Well, thanks for calling. Thanks for Hope everything's going well with your mom's pipes. 

Sam Grim: Yeah, I'm on my

way

home now. I Just got in my

car. I'm leaving on the port.

Josiah: Alright. 

Doug: Alright, man. 

Josiah: Hell yeah. Yeah, I'm free all 

Sam Grim: Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I'm free all

next week. So let me know

what day works for you. Thanks, man.

Josiah: the

Sam Grim: guys. All right, see ya. Bye.

Josiah: guys. That's why I

hate talking

Good thing we had his picture 

Doug: I tell you, that's why I 

hate talking on the phone. It's not even the conversation, it's the five minutes of saying goodbye.

Cause, Listen,

this is what I say to mom, this is what I say to Lauren when I go, love you, bye. 

Josiah: Yeah, yeah, All right. I know do [00:41:00] you have anything you want to workshop Here we go? 

Doug: Oh, I, I forgot I did 

that I was gonna, I just 

forgot I did it already, that thing where the top ten things comedians hear from 

Josiah: Oh 

yeah, did that. 

Doug: I don't know if I said this last time, but I I said I hate when people show me pictures of their pets and they go, Look at my little babies.

I

show 'em a picture of my kids and go, look at my 

Josiah: a picture of my

kids and

go, That's 

Doug: it's just little thoughts that 

Josiah: at my animals. I don't know 

Doug: I don't know if it'd move on to the second round.

Josiah: don't

know what 

Doug: I don't know what accent I'm even doing. It's like going floating between like German, 

French,

Very

effin.

Josiah: Yeah. So anyway folks, this is the video podcast. I don't know. you'll have to let us know what you think. 

Doug: Yeah, this is the this is the, you know, testing the pilot of The 

Josiah: pilot 

Doug: so this is, this is only gonna get better with the video. And this is some really cool [00:42:00] technology you got going and, and yeah, it's only gonna

Josiah: too bad I couldn't get the auto switch thing working.

That you sound a lot better than the Echo. but we got, uh, five minutes. I know we were talking about Neil deGrasse Tyson. Maybe I'll just talk about that real quick.

Cause

let me just see if I can find it.

Alright,

So here we go. So I

have this

I

haven't even worked this out, but I'll just, this is the premise. 


Neil deGrasse Tyson Traffic Stop Bit
---

Josiah: Neil deGrasse Tyson being pulled over. Okay. Um, excuse me, sir. And the cop's like, excuse me sir, do you know how fast you're going? He's like, yes, actually I do.

Doug: Precisely. 

Josiah: Officer Theodore, let's break this down. So my car was traveling at 70 miles per hour. Meanwhile, the earth is spinning at a thousand miles per hour. So right there, I'm way over the speed limit just by sitting here talking to you. Then the earth rotates around the sun at 66, 000 miles per hour.

That puts us at 67, 670 miles per hour. But in the cosmos [00:43:00] we are moving through at quite a pace 1 400 whatever miles per hour to be exact That means I was going da da da da carry the one

and the cop's

just like wait wait. Okay, never mind I'll let you off with a warning and Neil's just so polite.

He's like, thank you officer Theodore. I hope you enjoyed my TED talk But then he's just so mad that he didn't get to answer the officer's question So he will no doubt tweet about

it. Tweet

out the correct answer And you know, I have I have the correct answer there anyway, but 

Doug: like if uh, the cop just shoots him

You know how fast this bullet's gonna go through 

Josiah: your head

Boom.

Boom! Like, he's, 

Doug: you 

Josiah: you 

Doug: know,

he's saying like this guy 

is getting like the most profound Theory of relativity 

that 

from from the most knowledgeable person on the planet about it, and and he's just like oh

he's just like, oh, fuck you.

I'll take the internal affairs.

I 

it. 

the body cam you you you're gonna want to kill 

yourself [00:44:00] 

All right, so 

So 

Josiah: I think that has some legs, that bit. If I can just get my impression of Neil deGrasse Tyson 

Doug: I 

think take out a lot of, don't do a lot of the math. 

Josiah: Well That's okay. 

Doug: pull him out.

I think, And that's what I mean. I think if you do, like, once you get to like the Milky Way part, you just say like, 

Josiah: like, And then the cop 

just 

Doug: it, I 

Josiah: love 

it, I love it. Okay, so, stay tuned for I don't even know.

what the fuck I'm going to

say 

Doug: you want to see you want to hear the 

big bang

Theory? 

Boom! There you

Josiah: There you go 


Conclusion and Sign-Off
---

Josiah: the big bang theory that's the name of this episode we got 

it

Doug: this episode, we got it. Do

Josiah: Do

the L we'll get a little close up of you. before we go.

Doug: Went

Josiah: Oh You went in I went out 

Alright, see you next time 

Doug: yeah. 

Josiah: oh shit, I forgot to hit

record. No, I'm just 

I'm just kidding. [00:45:00] We We got it, we got it.