s05ep09
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[00:00:00] Introduction and Cold Open
---

Doug: Oh

The Jokes by Jo Show - s05ep09_mixdown_Sound Pads: Uh,

Co-Co: Let's roll with that. Coco's got a bit of a cold 

The Jokes by Jo Show - s05ep09_mixdown_Sound Pads: Um, 

Co-Co: might sound a bit different, 

The Jokes by Jo Show - s05ep09_mixdown_Sound Pads: Um, 

Co-Co: it'll add a unique flavor

Co-Co: to our show today. Ready to dive into some comedy gold? What's the first bit we're working on?

Josiah: Oh my gosh. 


[00:00:20] Meet the Hosts
---

Josiah: Welcome to the Jokes by Joe show. I'm here with my co host Doug McKizzle and my co co host Coco, who has a cold and does not sound herself. I'm sorry. You're not feeling well, Coco. I hope you feel better.

Co-Co: Thanks Josiah, I appreciate the well wishes. I'll try not to sneeze on any punchlines today. Doug? How's it going on your end? Ready to crack some jokes and keep this show

Co-Co: rolling?

Josiah: pretty

Doug: Yeah, I'm doing pretty good. I, uh It's

Doug: good to

Doug: see you. I mean, it's just so sad you got a cold.

Doug: Uh, I'm not sure how you got

Doug: it.

Doug: Uh, I certainly didn't sneak

Doug: in here and

Doug: play with your three legs. It's just, uh Is that your Beetlejuice voice?

Doug: It does sound like that. 

Josiah: Like, 

Doug: whoosh! 

Josiah: save

Josiah: that guy

Josiah: for later. 

Josiah: So why don't you tell our listeners what they're in for?

Co-Co: All


[00:01:09] Today's Agenda
---

Co-Co: right, folks, you heard it here first. Today on the Jokes by Jo show, we've got a packed agenda. We'll kick things off by diving into Josiah's experience at the Lehigh Valley's funniest comedian contest. Can't wait to hear how that went down. Then, we'll roll up our sleeves and workshop some fresh jokes to keep things spicy.

Co-Co: And last but not least, Doug's got some tales from his trip to Jamaica that are bound to be hilarious. So sit back, relax, and get ready for some laughs. Let's get this show started.

Josiah: No pressure, Doug. You know what? It's almost like her speed. Is like set to half of what it normally

Josiah: is. and it's changing her pitch.

Doug: I said, it just sounds like she's on a murder

Doug: podcast.

Doug: It sounds

Josiah: Only murders in the building?

Doug: like

Doug: or serial, something really somber like, like and then the doctor got a new job,

Doug: a county over. 

Josiah: got 

Doug: He was able to start back as

Doug: a surgeon. He was a meth head

Doug: and had the most jittery of fingers, but was able to do heart surgery just one county over. And that's, that's where we need to really dive into. Why the medical industry is so

Josiah: doctor who only had seven fingers,

Josiah: but 

Doug: of a murder mystery podcast called I don't know serial and you're doing season four introducing, introducing season four about a wouldn't you say a murder in the town next door?

Doug: It's a, uh, this is a true story. It's a doctor who only had seven fingers

Doug: but

Doug: Was able to do heart surgery

Doug: Like he was a meth head who had seven fingers.

Doug: None of this is

Doug: true. 

Josiah: Okay, so,

Josiah: so, you have to introduce that story, Coco, in your, in your cold, depressed voice. Go ahead. That was

Co-Co: Welcome to Season 4 of Serial, where we delve into the most curious and perplexing true crime stories. This season, we explore the bizarre case of Dr. Theodore Hawthorne, a meth addicted surgeon, who, despite having only seven fingers, performed intricate heart surgeries in the small town of Edgewood. After losing his medical license in his home county due to his addiction, Dr.

Co-Co: Hawthorne moved just one county over. where he miraculously resumed his career. How did he manage to operate with such precision, and why was he allowed to practice medicine again? Join us as we uncover the dark secrets behind the medical industry's overlooked flaws, and follow the chilling journey of a doctor who defied all odds in the most unsettling way.

Co-Co: Stay tuned.

Doug: Well, I quit. mean,

Doug: we're done. We are done, dude. 

Josiah: my god. 

Doug: We're gonna

Josiah: Every

Doug: Every single human being thing that deals with creativity is done.

Josiah: Alright? Now I'm

Doug: mind you, I'm not firing on all Cylinders here because I'm hungover,

Doug: but

Josiah: she

Doug: She also has a cold and was able to just

Doug: spit out

Josiah: very

Doug: a very detailed introduction to a thing that doesn't exist

Josiah: I was like, I can't wait to hear this story. I

Doug: Was like man, I can't wait to hear this

Josiah: this.

Doug: like this. I can't wait to tune into that I'm gonna subscribe to that thing that doesn't

Josiah: doctor with seven fingers, but he's able to operate because of meth. Oh

Doug: Dude, you can spit

Josiah: He's a method doctor.

Doug: can You can

Doug: you can

Doug: just I mean that's amazing to me. I just was blabbering

Doug: nothing. 

Josiah: know.

Josiah: Oh, 

Doug: a Nothing.

Josiah: playing into our improv.

Doug: and she, yeah, she,

Doug: wow. She made

Doug: it way better.


[00:04:41] Comedy Contest Experience
---

Josiah: All right, Coco, we're going to talk a little bit about Lehigh Valley's uh,

Josiah: What

Josiah: the fuck is it called?

Josiah: Remind

Doug: the contest. Yeah, the contest. Best, best comedian or

Doug: funniest comedian? 

Co-Co: Sure thing, Josiah. Let's dive into the Lehigh Valley's Funniest Comedian Contest. How did it go? Any highlights or funny moments you want to share with us? And Doug, feel free to jump in with any thoughts or stories from Jamaica. Let's keep this conversation flowing and get some laughs rolling.

Josiah: All right, so you just sit there and listen. We'll call you when we're ready. Okay, Coco

Co-Co: Got it, Josiah. I'll be here ready when you need me. Take it away.

Josiah: Good. So yeah, I was Selected to be a part of the Lehigh Valley's Lehigh Valley's first annual Lehigh, I can't even say this first annual Lehigh Valley's funniest comedian contest. All right. And so it takes place over five or six weeks every Thursday at the Emmaus theater in Emmaus.

Doug: And 

Josiah: like 75 comics.

Josiah: And it's not

Co-Co: That's

Co-Co: awesome.

Co-Co: Josiah, How was the crowd? did you have any standout moments or bits that really killed?

Josiah: Hey, I'll get to you in a second. I'm going to pause you. So, 

Doug: it's

Josiah: 75 comedians and it's not limited to the Lehigh Valley. So there was a girl at the show from Seattle.

Doug: Oh wow, well that's, I don't know if that's fair.

Josiah: It's not really fair, but,

Josiah: and there was a guy from Jersey city. So.

Doug: It's not like it's a, like there's comedy festivals that you have to, you know, comedy competitions and festivals and stuff like that that you can, but it's not, it's not, those festivals aren't saying specifically the funniest.

Doug: Right. Comedian in Italy.

Josiah: it's not regional.

Doug: Yeah, to me that, if, if you're going to put that in the title, you should be only

Doug: comedians from 

Josiah: well I guess maybe she got a pass because her mom's from this area? I have no idea. Anyway, she ended up advancing to the next round.

Doug: Was she good?

Josiah: She was okay.

Josiah: Um, she wasn't on my

Josiah: list, but

Josiah: she was good. And I didn't realize that they actually had a, I'd never done a show like a, I'd never performed at Emmaus. I've been to the theater plenty of times. I've never performed there. I didn't realize they had like, a green room.

Doug: Oh, yeah, yeah. 

Josiah: Yeah,

Josiah: back there. So I was back. You've been in that spot

Josiah: back there.

Josiah: So I'm in those, those two rooms back there and there's 14 other comedians. Just crammed into this tiny, tiny space.

Doug: Yeah, it feels like, it feels like you're on a ride at Disney World, and that's one of the little rooms they set up on the

Doug: line, you

Doug: know what I mean?

Doug: Like,

Josiah: you occupied while you, while you wait 

Doug: the

Doug: ride is like grandma's rocking chair or something like that. And that's

Doug: the room.

Doug: It's like that little, that little couch. It's very awkward. The stairs that lead to the

Josiah: that go up to an up and then there's stairs that go to another little tiny room.

Josiah: And so I was sitting up on like the second room that you had to take stairs up to

Josiah: Met a lot of cool people. The order, I was second. They had us write down our walk in walk in music, which was pretty cool.

Josiah: Cause the, the girl who was running the, the mixer, she was able to just pull all these songs like on the fly. And we even like, I gave her a timestamp of, so, my son got me into NF. I don't know if you know NF, um, but yeah,

Doug: NF. Oh, NF.

Josiah: I'll play, I'll play I'll play one of the songs, but anyway, that's what the song I, it's called hope.

Josiah: So I opened, I walked out to that and then every comedian had five minutes and it's audience and judges vote. So there was judges, there was the Booker for the Wisecrackers in Scranton was there. The Booker for the Emmaus theater was there. And then they had an outside MC who came in and did a set before all the other comedians and then talked a little bit in between, but pretty much, you know, just introduced everyone.

Josiah: So I went second and my wife said it was phenomenal. I know he would, you had mentioned Doug that you wanted to talk about my open mic performances like on the show, but I thought this would be a good opportunity to talk about the actual contest. My wife filmed it.

Doug: Oh, absolutely. Yeah. I want to see how it went.

Josiah: I haven't watched it yet, so, or heard

Doug: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Josiah: This will be

Josiah: interesting. Isn't 

Doug: that

Doug: strange when you when you record a show or when you're watching a recording for a show? I know one that I did at the Emmaus Theatre. It was like a Christmas show. And I, I had like, I don't know, like, I think I did like 12 minutes or something like that.

Doug: But even still, when I go back and watch it, I see things that When I was on stage, there was something that I there was something that I kind

Doug: of stuttered

Doug: through or something, but on stage it felt like it was 10 years had gone by during that little stutter. And then when you watch it,

Doug: you're like, you're like, Oh, that didn't even, didn't even notice.

Doug: Nobody noticed it.

Josiah: My

Josiah: thing with recording shows is I never watch them right away. I don't know why. I always want to document it, but then I'm always like, Afraid to watch it. Yeah.

Josiah: But now, you know, I've got you with me. So

Josiah: I feel

Doug: I jump right in. As soon as I'm like, I'm like in the car watching it whenever I record it or if I record the audio or something,

Doug: i'm

Doug: like, immediately, I want to hear it.

Doug: I want to hear how the crowd reacted to the

Josiah: doing Yeah. Stuff. So then at the end I guess we can talk about the voting after

Josiah: the clip,

Josiah: Mm-Hmm. .But all right. Let's get into the clip

Doug: it's very key when your wife says you did phenomenal.

Josiah: I know.

Doug: my toughest

Josiah: she's my toughest

Doug: are so used to everything that we say. They hear the, you know, what they're seeing on stage is this rendered down of what they've been hearing for the last year. Right. All day, every day in the house. Yeah, yeah.

Josiah: Yeah, yeah.


[00:09:43] Stand-Up Performance
---

Josiah: So this is it right here. It's five minutes and nine seconds. I have not seen this yet, Doug has not seen it yet, so we'll just play it, and then we'll talk about it.

Co-Co: You're gonna love them. Well, it's great to be an

Co-Co: Emmaus sort of crime in this town. is getting pretty bad One shopper earlier got shot at. It's like Jesus Christ. Last time I'm robbing this place. Fucking shoot at me, bitch. 

Josiah: Bitch. It still 

Co-Co: thru ATM the other day, I noticed they had braille on the keypad. At the drive thru ATM. Yeah, so I'd like to meet the blind guy skilled enough to drive a car, Yeah, it still needs assistance when typing in this PIN. If you imagine a world where, They didn't have Braille on keypads, and in that same world, blind guys are just driving themselves to the bank. Miraculously, they obey all the traffic signs and signals along the way. They're able to pull that car into that narrow lane that wraps around the building.

Co-Co: Inch their car up to the exact spot. Roll down their window. No Braille. Oh, what the fuck! How am I supposed to Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ! It's so pissed, it speeds home. Gets pulled over. Cop's like, Uh, yeah, one, you were speeding. Two, you cut me off back there. Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry about that, officer. I honestly didn't see you back there.

Co-Co: This is so embarrassing. You must have been in my blind spot. You let me off with a warning? But that's not the only place where they have braille that doesn't make sense. Every public restroom. has a spot in the corner reserved for Braille. So, a guy who can see, it's a sign this big. A Guy who can't see, it's this little tiny postage stamp.

Co-Co: This is the amount of space we've decided is enough to aid this man's disability on a wall that just keeps going forever. How is he supposed to know that's where he's supposed to touch? Shouldn't the entire wall be Braille? With, like, clues along the way? Laughter. You just passed the water fountain. You just passed the supply closet. You just touched that woman's nipple. You just touched that woman's other nipple. Now you're touching her first nipple again. Wait a minute, You don't have to use the bathroom. But it's like, Blind people are drawn to the nipple because The nipple is kind of like, Nature's braille. But

Josiah: nipples like

Josiah: nature's braille. 

Co-Co: braille wall isn't economical fine. Maybe there's like a fixture you can install on the wall that they can hang on to, you know, I don't know. Some sort of brailling? Oh,

Co-Co: yes, Jesus

Co-Co: He could really fix this, uh, this blind business. I finally realize why this Jesus guy is so popular. Here's a guy who's turning water into wine. You know how many fucking friends I would have if I could turn water into wine? I used to have people call me up. Hey Josiah, hey listen. Listen buddy, we're having another party down at the well. I really hope you can make it.

Co-Co: I'm not going to be the same without you buddy. Brad's bringing the bread. Frank's bringing the fish. Just need your magic touch and we can feast for hours. Hang on a second. Feast for hours? I'm on the phone. I'm on the phone with Josiah of Bethlehem! Hang on, fine, I'll ask. Uh, sorry, Josiah. I'm here with Blind Billy.

Co-Co: And he wants to know if you'll touch him tonight. No, no, no, not like that. You see, he needs to go to the bank tomorrow. And, they do? Now that's fucked up. Also, they've got braille on the keypads. He says you're on your own. Okay. Well, are you coming down to the party or what? What do you mean the bridge is out?

Co-Co: Fuckin walk on water, stop being a Jew. Alright, bye. I will leave you with, uh, you guys like impressions? Here's some impressions. Um, here's my impression of Jesus having an orgasm.

Co-Co: Uh, uh, uh, men. And if that didn't offend you, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, men! That was the second coming of Jesus Christ. Uh, I did that joke in the South, and this guy's like, Hey man, that's not funny!

Co-Co: Jesus isn't gay! He's the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit!

Co-Co: I was like, oh my gosh, I'm sorry, you're right, he's not gay. He's trans! name is Josiah James that's my time, thank you very much. 

Doug: I like,

Doug: I love abrupt segues Like, cause there's times that I just don't know what to do. Know how I'm gonna segue a joke into another

Josiah: joke,

Josiah: Yeah. 

Doug: and I just I think the more you try to You know focus on the segue without just saying, you know what fuck it. There isn't

Doug: one 

Josiah: here,

Josiah: Yeah, like a non non se, non-sequitur 

Doug: just the the I miss jesus

Josiah: Yeah.

Doug: That was, that was so good. Yeah.

Doug: Yeah, I like the uh, I like that and I like um I think the braille

Josiah: I think the Braille one you said is one of your favorites

Doug: Yeah, that's my favorite joke that you do Yeah, I just that whole premise is just hilarious to me but the, the what do you call it?

Doug: The saying, when

Doug: when you said, I

Doug: think I figured out why he's so famous.

Josiah: Oh yeah, yeah.

Doug: like all the writings, all the religions, all the, hey, I think I, I think I nailed it.

Josiah: Yeah.

Doug: Everybody gather around.

Josiah: it right! Seriously though,

Josiah: right?

Josiah: He must have been pretty popular, he's turning

Doug: I mean, yeah.

Josiah: I mean, so that was it. 


[00:15:53] Post-Performance Discussion
---

Josiah: I mean, what did you think in terms of like, performance? 

Doug: Think it was great. I think I think you did very well. I think you I, how many people were in the audience?

Josiah: There was only like 30,

Doug: Yeah, see, cause that's, that's what's hard about when you're listening to your own stuff is recordings don't pick up laughter as much as as

Doug: what you hear when you're on

Doug: stage, you know what

Doug: I mean?

Doug: And Cause I know, I did the roast battle, and I was getting big laughs on the stuff I was saying, but when I watched the video of it, you can't really hear too many people, I hear my buddy Dan cracking up in it, but but yeah, so it's kinda, that kinda brings you down a little when you watch a, when you're, when you're watching your own stuff, you know what I mean, and you're like,

Doug: wow, I

Doug: thought that killed, and you have to remember, the recording doesn't pick up what you,

Doug: what

Josiah: Also, yeah, I guess the first week they did it, there was like the one comedian, Danny. I said that there were like 150 people there,

Doug: Oh, wow.

Josiah: so I was expecting a big

Josiah: crowd. and there was only, yeah, it was

Doug: And they were probably all scattered. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's a big theater.

Josiah: But then you vote, there's a QR code. So they watched 14 people do five minutes. There's a QR code. You scan, there's a form you have to pick. You have to order the 14 comedians, even though only like five or six got through to the next round. You have to, you have to pick who the funniest was and who

Josiah: the least

Josiah: least favorite

Doug: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah who got the most votes? 

Josiah: It was weird. This guy actually did this gym teacher bit. He went up last, he got the most votes. Now, was that because he was fresh in everyone's mind or because he was the

Josiah: funniest? 

Doug: too,

Doug: Yeah.

Josiah: I don't know. His, his gym teacher vote was, or bit was very, very funny. His premise was when, who, who, who got together and decided that the gym teacher should be the one teaching our kids about sexual education?

Doug: Ha ha ha,

Josiah: You know, everyone's in suit, in suits and ties around the table and they're like, uh, let the guy in sweatpants do it. Yeah, that's pretty

Doug: that's pretty funny. Yeah,

Josiah: very, very funny. And, and my wife's dad is a retired gym teacher.

Doug: Oh, OK. So

Josiah: they got a huge kick out of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That really kind of hit home for them.

Josiah: Yeah. And I was, I think I was fourth. I don't know how I was fourth because most of the people there were, were for me. So I don't know how they scale it.

Josiah: I know the judges have an influence. I know you get disqualified for going over, but I was only five minutes and nine

Doug: No, I think that was a perfect

Josiah: Yeah, they they don't just start disqualifying you until you go over 530.

Doug: Yeah.

Josiah: So, yeah, I don't really know. I don't really care that I was fourth. And all I

Doug: you got to the next

Josiah: got to the next round.

Josiah: Next round, everyone gets eight minutes, so we go from five to eight and now I gotta, you know, bring my a game and, and

Doug: How many rounds is it again?

Josiah: think it's three, three or four.

Doug: okay.

Josiah: So there's. The second round is eight minutes and then there's 12 minutes.

Josiah: So that's the third round. The final round is 15 minutes. So after, if you get through to, if you pass the next round, I think you're in the finals or no, no. You have one more round. Then you're in the finals.

Doug: No,

Josiah: How did you manage? ' cause

Josiah: I imagine 

Doug: going

Doug: to 

Josiah: I'm going to do completely new

Josiah: stuff.

Doug: completely new stuff. Yeah. You know 

Josiah: show? 

Doug: you want to you want to do some bangers that will get you to the next

Josiah: I think your point is you don't want to blow your

Doug: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so

Josiah: I wanted to do my stuff that I knew was, was really, really good. And, and thanks for your input as well.

Josiah: You're like, do the, do the Braille one. So, yeah. And then I figured that the one that always hits well is the crime in whatever city

Doug: Yeah. Yeah.

Josiah: and then because you robbed the store, that's that always hits, but that's a short one. That's only like 30 seconds, but I wanted to do the stuff that I knew would be good enough to get me to the next round, and then I'll like I'll figure out the next set later and, 

Doug: I like that one that you did with the, with the window? The, the, where they tell you to go to

Doug: the next, go to

Doug: the other window?

Josiah: That's on my set list for the

Josiah: next 

Doug: good. Yeah, I like that one 

Josiah: The the

Josiah: McDonald's 

Doug: people that one.

Doug: Like, yeah, I'm like, he does this one where

Doug: he's like, Oh no, no, no. That's that

Doug: window.

Josiah: I actually did that too, which is funny. All right. So, well, cool. So let me just connection failed. Ooh.

Josiah: Alright, so we just listened to my 5 minute set at the Emmaus Theatre on Thursday June 27th. And I got voted through to the next round, so my next set will be in August, mid August sometime, I think it's August 15th. The date's not set yet and I'll do eight minutes.

Josiah: So stay tuned for that. Coco just wanted to bring up the speed on where we are. Cause we lost you for a second there.

Co-Co: Thanks for bringing me up to speed, Josiah. Sounds like your set went really well. Congrats on getting through to the next round. Eight minutes in August should be a blast. What kind of material are you thinking of for that set? Maybe we could brainstorm a bit, or even workshop some jokes together.

Josiah: Yeah. 


[00:20:35] McDonald's Drive-Thru Story
---

Josiah: As Doug mentioned, I have a story where I was one morning I went to the McDonald's ordered breakfast and, 

Josiah: She had said

Josiah: you 

Co-Co: And what happened at McDonald's?

Co-Co: Did something funny

Co-Co: or unexpected happen with your breakfast

Josiah: No, Coco, nothing funny, nothing

Doug: sounds like she's

Doug: being sarcastic. Oh, did something funny happen at the McDonald's?

Josiah: There was nothing funny, nothing unexpected, and

Doug: her, I think it's what you said. I think her 

Josiah: her,

Josiah: Her setting on the

Josiah: speed 

Doug: speed.

Doug: Yeah. Yeah. I think that's what it is,

Doug: but,

Doug: but it is making her

Doug: sound sarcastic.

Doug: I guess we'll be jumping in with some jokes from Doug McKizzle as

Doug: well. I mean,

Doug: If he has any Jamaica stories, I'm sure they'll be funny.

Josiah: Yeah, I ordered I think breakfast, a coffee and a breakfast sandwich or whatever. And she's like, you know, that'll be, that'll be, uh, 12, 12 and 70 cents. Uh, first, uh, I mean, second window, please. She like caught herself.

Josiah: Cause usually they send you to the first window to pay, but I guess the first window. Maybe they didn't have it staffed properly that morning or whatever. So she sends me to the second window. So I get to the second window and I roll down my window and she's like, that'll be 1270 and I had cash with me that day.

Josiah: I never have cash, but I had a 20 and I, I go to handle the 20 and she reaches out for it and I go, ah, second window, please. And I pull my car up another three feet and she's like, just gives me this look Like what? And. Cause I don't know if that was a girl that was speaking to me at

Josiah: the first

Josiah: window or not.

Josiah: I have no idea. Oh, I'm hoping it was because then she would get the

Josiah: joke, 

Doug: hoping it

Josiah: yeah.

Doug: Like a Fucking weirdo. 

Josiah: So

Josiah: I rolled down the passenger window and, you know, I reached my arm behind the headrest and I hand her the 20

Josiah: And

Josiah: she gives me the change that way. And I bring it back around and there's like coins and I almost drop them.

Josiah: And

Josiah: then, 

Co-Co: hilarious.

Co-Co: I love the mental image of you messing with the mcdonald's drive thru staff

Doug: I

Josiah: I

Co-Co: Those little moments 

Doug: like this, Coco. 

Co-Co: that really make for great stories 

Doug: That was 

Co-Co: definitely work that into your

Doug: Really 

Co-Co: Maybe

Co-Co: something like So I went to mcdonald's for breakfast the 

Doug: doing your joke better

Co-Co: ordered my usual

Co-Co: coffee breakfast sandwich the girl on the speaker says That'll be 12.

Co-Co: 70. Second window, please. You know, they usually send you to the first window to pay.

Doug: She did your

Doug: little pause a little. Like your little slow

Co-Co: I get to the second window, roll down my window, and she's like, that'll be 12. 07. I had cash that day, which is rare for me. Hand her a 20. And just as she reaches for it, I go, ah, second window, please.

Co-Co: And pull up three feet. The look she gave me was priceless. Part confusion, part, is this guy serious? And then I roll down my passenger window, reach my arm behind the headrest, and hand her the 20 from there. I don't know if she thought it was funny, or if she was just planning my demise. But hey, you gotta find the fun where you can, right?

Co-Co: What do you think? Feel free to tweak it to match your style.

Doug: I think I think she just proved something. Women aren't funny.

Josiah: the same 

Doug: the same exact joke that you did.

Josiah: did. Word for

Doug: Word for word.

Josiah: it's

Doug: I mean, it's just, you know.

Josiah: did add like, oh, is she planning my

Josiah: demise? Stuff like that. I'm nervous. I miss the old Coco. I gotta figure out what the hell is going on here. This

Josiah: is,

Doug: This one is cracking me up only because She just told your joke with

Doug: sarcasm. She was like, I

Doug: don't know, maybe try it like this.

Doug: Hey, second window. Yeah, yeah, I'm

Josiah: I am planning on doing the second window. I also want to tell this story. I, we were at the pool and I met this guy from the south and he's just, I had no idea who he was.

Josiah: We just were talking. He's like, what's going on with you? And I was like, ah, I'm doing this show and Emmaus. And he's from like North Carolina. And so. I was, I was like, yeah, a bunch of people are going to decide if I'm funny and a mass and he goes, he goes, let me get this straight, a bunch of people from, and my ass

Josiah: are gonna decide if you're funny, 

Doug: is 

Josiah: what you're saying in my

Josiah: ass? And I was

Josiah: like, I'm sorry. It sounds like you're

Co-Co: That's a great story. That guy from North Carolina sounds like he had a pretty good sense of humor himself. Here's how you might work 

Doug: Oh, Jesus Christ. How's she going to do this

Doug: one? 

Co-Co: So I was at the pool the other 

Doug: She's going to do the Southern accent? 

Co-Co: when I met this guy from the South, North Carolina to be exact.

Co-Co: We start chatting, and he asks me what's going on. I tell him about this comedy show I'm doing in Emmaus, And he's like, a bunch of people are going to decide if you're funny in Emmaus. Then he goes, let me get this straight. A bunch of people from Emmaus are going to decide if you're funny? The way he said it, with that southern drawl and all, just 

Doug: Women suck at 

Co-Co: I guess humor really is regional. But hey, if you can make someone from North Carolina laugh about a bunch of folks in Emmaus judging your comedy, you must be doing something right, right? 

Doug: said, 

Co-Co: does that 

Doug: he pronounced 

Co-Co: as 

Josiah: Yeah, yeah,

Josiah: Coco,

Josiah: The subtle part you missed was that when he said, when he pronounced Emmaus with his southern drawl, it sounded like in my ass.

Doug: Oh, Oh

Doug: okay. Let me try that again.

Co-Co: Got it. Let's add that subtle twist to really emphasize the play on words. Here's how you could work that into your set

Josiah: Oh,

Doug: see how this goes.

Co-Co: So I was at the pool the other day just chilling when I met this guy from the South North Carolina to be exact We start chatting and he asks me what's going on.

Co-Co: I tell him about this comedy show I'm doing in Emmaus and he's like a bunch of people are going to decide

Co-Co: if you're funny in Emmaus?

Josiah: she fucked it up

Co-Co: Then

Co-Co: he goes let me get this 

Doug: her off. Turn off 

Co-Co: A bunch of people from Emmaus are going to decide

Co-Co: I'm 

Josiah: Fuck you, Coco. There's,


[00:26:28] Women in Comedy
---

Doug: listen, uh, so. I think there's very

Doug: funny

Doug: Women comedians there. There's been I mean

Doug: throughout You know,

Doug: the 70s 80s there there was always really funny. I mean my favorite female comedian is ellen degeneres I think her stand up

Josiah: Oh yeah, she's great.

Doug: I don't think she's done a bad show ever.

Doug: She's never had a bad show and

Josiah: So witty.

Josiah: Yeah, and

Doug: I think what's happening now with women comedians is they're not sticking to what is funny You They're trying to they're doing this like hypocritical thing where they're saying we could be like the boys But they're not being like the funny boys. They're being these raunchy chicks thinking that's gonna make them funny and They're trying to sell like sex in a way not all of them I'm not saying that because there are some really funny strong comedians that are women right now but It just, most of the time, I find them to be like, So I was dating this guy, and it's just, I go to sleep right then.

Doug: I immediately go to sleep when I hear that. When I hear that, I was dating this guy, and it's like, Oh shit, she's either gonna make the joke about how he was an asshole, She's gonna make a joke about how she's doing some raunchy shit with sex, And it just, it usually is the case. And, it just freaking bores me.

Doug: Just like, a guy who gets up there and just tries to say raunchy

Doug: shit. Thinking that's gonna kill.

Josiah: Yeah, using that as a

Doug: Yeah, it's like be creative be creative about something that happened to you or just something you see or whatever it is Be creative with your joke. Don't be fucking hacky and you know, I don't know but

Doug: like

Doug: I said

Doug: I'm joking when I say that women Women suck at telling stories.

Doug: Um, I think they really suck at telling stories Yeah, it's

Doug: terrible, dude. Oh my God.

Josiah: was listening to this comedian on Tik TOK the other day who has this

Josiah: vasectomy joke, which

Josiah: is very apropos because we both recently got vasectomies. I should play it because it's fucking funny actually. Do you want to hear

Josiah: it?

Josiah: Okay. Her name is Kelsey Cook

Kelsey Cook Live Performance: also the first person with who has had a vasectomy. So, I had some questions about that. I was like, when you finish, is it clear? Like that white Gatorade flavor? Just have Glacier Frost on tap? What's going on?

Kelsey Cook Live Performance: I'm

Kelsey Cook Live Performance: just trying to prepare myself. I was like, does it taste better when there aren't kids in it? 

Doug: See that's, this is funny. 

Josiah: Yeah. 

Kelsey Cook Live Performance: It's

Kelsey Cook Live Performance: like, or maybe it's just air. Right? Like, one of those pressurized keyboard dusters that's like, psst, you're like, oh!

Doug: Oh.

Kelsey Cook Live Performance: ya. Finally I just went, Bill Nye on his ass, I was like, I am blowing you in the name of science. This is field research, at this point. And, uh, turns out it's like,

Kelsey Cook Live Performance: normal.

Kelsey Cook Live Performance: I guess it's kinda like, Beyond Burger.

Kelsey Cook Live Performance: Like, it looks the same. And then once it's in your mouth, you're like, Something's missing.

Doug: heh.

Kelsey Cook Live Performance: This is like diet c 

Josiah: So 

Doug: And see what I mean?

Josiah: Kelsey, Kelsey cook, not Kelly cook.

Doug: Yeah.

Co-Co: So, I had some 

Doug: my

Doug: point is, that was a great story, that was a great joke, the whole thing was tailored perfectly. It wasn't just going for the raunchy. You know, it was

Doug: funny. 

Josiah: it was funny. That's,

Doug: And that's the thing. It's like, 

Josiah: I 

Doug: this is guys, girls, whatever. As far

Doug: as comedians,

Doug: I like funny.

Doug: It's

Doug: almost like, like Hot Wings. I love spice, but I want flavor.

Doug: Over the spice. 

Josiah: What

Josiah: about the hot wings show? 


[00:30:19] Hot Wings Show Discussion
---

Josiah: Were they?

Doug: Oh, I love that show. I think, I think that show is I think he asks the best questions. And he does his

Doug: research.

Doug: But also I like the disengaging of eating this hot stuff

Josiah: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Doug: to stay comfortable.

Doug: And, and he, he knows when they're eating at the bomb, the one that really kills you. And he, he goes right into the question.

Doug: He's like,

Doug: let's, nope, you don't have time to deal with that.

Doug: Think about this question. 

Josiah: was on there recently and, and disrobed,

Josiah: like

Josiah: took her top off. And I was like, I'm watching that shit.

Doug: I so far the best one I've seen and I started watching I started watching that show when it wasn't big at all Like i'm not trying to sound like one of those dudes.

Doug: I I was the first to Definitely. I definitely I probably like the second season. I started watching

Josiah: All right

Doug: It was just something that came up on my youtube and I was like, what's this about? And then I mean i'm glad it's gotten huge because they're getting better celebrities

Josiah: and

Doug: stuff.

Doug: But So far the best i've ever seen on that show as far as dealing With the hot sauce is Conan O'Brien.

Josiah: Oh, yeah.

Doug: Oh, dude, he had He was taking like the bomb that that really hard one and like drinking it He was like rubbing it around his face all I mean he

Josiah: I gotta watch that

Doug: it is I remember The very next day I showed lauren I was like you gotta watch this. This is the best one That you're ever going to see.

Doug: It's unbelievable.

Josiah: saw it advertised and I just didn't click on it,

Doug: Dude, that's the best

Josiah: I gotta watch it

Doug: and I guess afterwards he had gotten like, people were like, is he okay? Did he have to go to the hospital? Because just the way he was with this

Doug: stuff,

Josiah: Yeah, I would, I would break out in a rash if I'd rubbed that shit on

Josiah: my 

Doug: he was, it was insane. It was insane to watch. Like, I remember I was watching, a lot of times I'm like, there's certain people that go on there and I'm like, wow, they're, they're handling it like a champ, you know? I haven't seen anybody handle it the way he did.

Josiah: Wow. All right. I

Josiah: gotta, I gotta, I gotta watch that. I'm, I'm curious though, like, all right, so this, that show takes off and it is just like eating hot wings and talking. Mm-Hmm. Jerry Seinfeld has a show that took off. It's

Josiah: just comedians

Josiah: in cars getting coffee.

Josiah: Yeah. It sounds so simple. And then it's huge success.

Doug: Well, it's, it's, what are you doing when you watch a Jimmy Fallon or something like that?

Doug: You want to hear these questions and answers. That's really what it

Doug: comes down to.

Doug: It's a talk show. And that's

Doug: why Howard has been successful and still is, is because there's no band. There's no lights, there's no commercial, it's just the conversation. That's what people want.

Josiah: so, so Hot Wings, someone did. Coffee.

Doug: Mm-Hmm.

Josiah: What's missing? What could we do? Comedians in what?

Doug: Urinals?

Doug: Urinals?

Doug: Just two comedians. And they, they're Taking a

Doug: piss. And, and who's going to break eye contact?

Doug: And,

Doug: And you gotta use

Doug: the same

Doug: urinal. 

Josiah: I, I, 

Doug: I, I, I


[00:32:59] Urinal Cake Advertisements
---

Doug: don't know. I, I think I had, I, I forget. I had,

Josiah: you know, the journal cakes,

Josiah: You know, the, the

Josiah: deodorizers,

Doug: Yeah,

Josiah: they're

Josiah: delicious, he says. some of them, they start putting, you know, how they were like always looking for advertising

Doug: Yeah. Yeah,

Josiah: So now they're putting ads on urinal cakes and you know how their, their ads on the gas station handle, now there's ads on urinal cakes.

Josiah: And so, so I'm taking a piss in his public restroom and there's, and I'm look, I look down and there's an ad and it's like, don't do crack. I was like,

Doug: That's, that's the turning point.

Josiah: I was like, what, what are you telling him

Josiah: for? You know what I

Josiah: mean? I

Josiah: mean,

Josiah: he doesn't do crack.

Doug: I mean, ass crack. Yeah, no, no, but

Josiah: it's not addicting.

Josiah: Well, yes it is. But.

Doug: But, it's, it's amazing to me that, that sold. Like, somebody, somebody said we'll do that,

Doug: Because

Doug: crack addicts, I don't know if you know, They go, like, they go to rehab, they get out, their family just, they don't have any more family anymore, they lose their kids, their job, and all that, but if they only had that inspirational urinal

Josiah: it's a turn

Doug: their life around while they're taking

Josiah: know that you can

Doug: off the highway,

Doug: you know, that's, 

Josiah: the

Doug: that's what they're doing, you know, one

Doug: piss at a time.

Doug: They're, 

Josiah: of the time. They're, they're What,

Doug: What, what did, what's the, who's doing the, the, like, stats, like, who's doing the Research to see how effective these urinal

Doug: cakes are.

Doug: You know what I mean?

Josiah: because they have, they have the stats up on the the hand

Josiah: dryer. Yeah. Saved

Josiah: a million trees. Right.

Josiah: Let's get the stats

Josiah: on the urinal cake. . How many lives are we

Doug: lives are we saving? Yeah. Yeah.

Doug: And what

Doug: would be effective, Like, what would really be effective?

Josiah: one.

Doug: No, No,

Doug: no. I mean, like, what do you say on a urinal cake to, to inspire somebody to buy something or do something?

Josiah: okay. Yeah.

Josiah: I dunno. 


[00:34:43] Innovative Bathroom Concepts
---

Josiah: But in Europe they have this is an interesting study in Europe, they don't have urinal cakes. They have

Josiah: a fly just like, a sticker of a

Josiah: fly. Oh, okay.

Josiah: All right.

Josiah: On the urinal. Yeah. And it causes people to aim, straighten, aim for the fly, and then there's less mess.

Doug: Well, that makes sense.

Doug: There's some 

Co-Co: a hilarious concept. You could definitely expand on that in your set. Here's a way you could 

Doug: No, no, I don't want to hear her. I don't want to hear her.

Doug: do that. Um, yeah, I would have just threw my head into this pen right here. Um, I was like, oh, I went into a bathroom. Damn, where was I? Denver, maybe? I forget. But wherever I was, the urinal had a video game in it. So like you can piss playing a video

Doug: game. Yeah, I forget. It was like something you had to like,

Doug: Chase something.

Doug: or Are you 

Josiah: the other people at the other

Doug: No, no. . Yeah, there's headphones. It's like

Josiah: You have to wait like it's like it's like at the carnival like the horse the horse racing game You got to wait for other players to join You're like, ah, you're like, oh man.

Josiah: I really gotta go. We need one more. Come on

Doug: There's a

Doug: guy in the bathroom with a microphone. Come on everybody, step right up. Here, big prizes, big

Doug: prizes. 2 gets you a medium. 5 gets you a large.

Doug: And they're 

Josiah: And

Josiah: they're off! 

Doug: Yeah, yeah.

Josiah: guy has

Doug: Some guy has like a problem urinating. He always hates going into this bathroom cause his horse never wins.

Doug: Here's a low stream. There's some like 15 year old kid

Doug: that's got 

Josiah: got

Doug: Like a fire hose coming out of there

Josiah: of there

Doug: And no winner again, there's a bell.

Doug: he comes walking out everybody knows he won everybody knows he

Josiah: lost.

Doug: There's George going back in

Doug: there.

Doug: George you're not gonna win George

Josiah: that fuck.

Josiah: That's great. That's great. All right. 


[00:36:36] Jamaica Trip Reflections
---

Josiah: So how was your trip to Jamaica? I haven't

Josiah: talked to you since. Was it good? 

Doug: Yeah,

Doug: no, it was beautiful. And by Jamaica, I mean, yeah, it was great hanging out with a bunch of

Doug: Americans and Europeans

Doug: in a hotel in

Josiah: sequestered

Doug: have been, I could have been on a Jersey Shore that just was cooking Jamaican food. I don't know.

Josiah: don't know.

Doug: I didn't see actual Jamaica except from going to the airport and coming, you know, coming and going to the airport.

Josiah: Did you have to take a puddle hopper to get to the resort?

Doug: No, what do you mean? Like a like a cab? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. We were in Montego Bay. So the, the airport, it was like 20 minutes from the

Josiah: alright.

Josiah: Right from the airport to your

Josiah: resort.

Josiah: Yeah.

Doug: So, it was great. I mean, it was, it's, it was a little, I have like, mixed feelings. It's almost like, I compared it a little to, I went to a wedding one time down south and it was on a plantation.

Doug: And,

Doug: We, When I was

Doug: at the wedding, it was a beautiful wedding. The two people that I, these two people I really, really liked that are my wife's friends and stuff and had a great time. The wedding was all fun and everything, but I couldn't get over the fact that the tree that they were getting married under, how many slaves died on that tree?

Doug: Because I looked up the family who owned that place and they had like hundreds and hundreds of slaves at

Doug: the time.

Doug: So it's like a bittersweet thing. Was

Josiah: it a white couple getting married on a

Doug: Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. 

Josiah: There's 

Doug: There's still plantations. I don't know if

Josiah: if you, yeah, yeah, I know. But why would you choose to get married on a,

Doug: on a plantation?

Doug: I don't think people think like that. I think some people just don't even think like that. They think this is a

Josiah: I imagine like a black couple getting married

Doug: getting married. I don't think

Josiah: history of slavery.

Doug: Well, so, I Sidebar real quick Nas just did one of those ancestry things where the guy actually finds, like, he found a bill. From his great great great grandmother And has the actual receipt of how much she was sold and all that and now the land He bought it

Josiah: Oh,

Doug: He he bought the he bought the plantation

Josiah: That's

Josiah: amazing.

Doug: so in that sense. Yeah, I see that but I just see Like I said, it is a 

Josiah: you're not you are not talking about little Nas

Josiah: X. you're talking

Josiah: about 

Doug: No, no the real Nas yeah, yeah, no, I don't even know who that other

Doug: person is. . , 

Doug: but no getting back to the main point.

Josiah: So

Doug: that was the kind of feeling I had in jamaica because going to The resort you're passing which I really thought and listen, I remember the south bronx, you know in the 80s You There were condemned buildings. I mean buildings that were condemned, but Only like homeless people lived in them and stuff like that.

Doug: We're in these buildings that was actual families living in there, you know what I mean? And we're passing those going

Doug: to this nice resort. 

Josiah: like slums, yeah.

Doug: Yeah, and and but it's just that's what they know so so that happened and then we get to the resort And so my wife and my in my, my father in law and my sister in law and all their family, they were all there already.

Doug: My daughter and I

Doug: came down two days later.

Doug: And so, we were in the van, kind of looking at that, and I was like, Daryl, look at this, like, that's, that's where people live. Like, I thought it was a condemned I thought it was condemned buildings, and then you see, like, clotheslines and stuff like that.

Josiah: people actually living

Josiah: there

Josiah: Yeah. So under those conditions.

Josiah: Yeah.

Doug: So then,

Doug: so then I get to then we get

Doug: to the resort.

Josiah: Then I get to my all inclusive . Oh yeah, no,

Josiah: absolutely.

Doug: That's, that's what I, that's what I was getting at is like you get there and it's like all the food is free and

Doug: gimme 12 beef patties.

Doug: I'll throw 10 of these away, you know what I mean? And stuff like that. And so then I go and I'm talking to this one guy. My, I love talking to the people

Doug: who work there.

Doug: And I

Doug: try my best to get them to not. Stick to the Yeah.

Doug: stick to the I have to be nice. I want to hear your story. I want

Doug: to hear

Doug: what you think of a place like this and what you think.

Doug: And the one guy he was like, yeah, he goes funny enough, he had family or in Quaker Town. He's like, Yeah, I've been to Quaker because I told him Pennsylvania and he said Quaker Town. I was like, Oh, it's right

Doug: there.

Doug: And then he told me, he said, yeah,

Doug: now

Doug: mind you, where we're standing, they had this thing called the Jerk Hut, which I ate every single day.

Doug: It was just a big hut that they roasted chicken and pork, but I always got the chicken and they, I mean, I'm sorry, smoked chicken. It was just constantly, you smelled the smell. It was

Doug: beautiful. 

Josiah: was on the resort.

Doug: It was on the resort and it's on a section of the resort where the beach is, right? So the beach is right there.

Doug: It's beautiful. You're looking out to the ocean. You got, you're literally under

Doug: palm 

Josiah: I

Josiah: knew you would be attracted to something called a jerk hut.

Doug: Oh yeah, no, it was, it wasn't what I

Josiah: fucking asshole

Doug: wasn't what I expected, but

Doug: I went in there.

Doug: I was like, all right, where's the lotion? And they were like, no, no, no, no, no. We, we smoke chicken and you eat it.

Josiah: hustle Jerk cut smoked meat,

Doug: yeah, yeah. So, so, But I'm talking to the guy and he says, yeah, he goes, and he pointed at the mountain behind us. And he's like, I live at the top of that mountain. He said, that's where I grew up. And he goes, I come down from that mountain and come down here and all that. And there's, it was roads, you know, it's not like stretching

Doug: through with a machete,

Doug: through high grass, you know, but so,

Josiah: seat. What's, what's that thing called? A scythe?

Josiah: Yeah.

Doug: yeah.

Doug: Like a big, yeah, yeah, no. But the thing that broke my heart was he said, yeah, this used to be the main road. This was the main road from Montego all the way to Kingston, which is on the opposite side of Jamaica Kingston's the southern eastern section of the island and Montego Bay is the northwestern part and He's like, yeah, he goes and then they built all these resorts

Doug: and

Doug: and I was like wait So you guys can't just go to the beach anymore You know what?

Doug: I mean like all these people who live on the other side of the street from the resort

Doug: You They

Doug: could just go when they're growing up, they could just go to the

Josiah: It was not private at

Doug: Right. And that, and that made me feel like shit. And then I got another plate of the Jerk Hut chicken and totally

Doug: forgot about his problems.

Doug: I was like, this is fucking

Doug: delicious. Oh,

Doug: I can't wait to go in that lazy river and just let this settle in

Josiah: Oh, did they have a laser a lazy river?

Doug: Oh, they had a lazy river. They had a water slide that I was, I, I mean for a hotel resort. It was like a Dorney Parks. We were going off that

Doug: thing 

Josiah: it, was

Josiah: it a tube?

Josiah: It was a Or was

Josiah: it

Doug: It was an open

Doug: half tube. Right?

Doug: They had that and then they had another they had another three section slide where you Like you go up these stairs you get in a little pool and then you go down a slide that goes into another pool and then you go up and get on that slide and All the way down to the main pool and all of them both of them led

Doug: to the main pool.

Doug: and on the other side like Connecting that main pool was the lazy river on the other side It was I mean we spent Pretty much 90 percent of the time they're with the kids and all that. They had another big, gigantic pool that was, you know, more, that's

Doug: where the

Doug: adults were.

Josiah: Joey,

Josiah: Joey loved it.

Doug: Oh my god, he loved it. All of us. We, we had a beautiful time. They had events, cause it's kid friendly, so they had events for family stuff throughout the night and

Doug: everything. So

Doug: like, I did, which I always laughed at and was like, that's stupid.

Josiah: The headphone parties where

Doug: There's just, everybody just has headphones on.

Josiah: know what? Suzanne was just telling me about this. Yeah. Everyone listens to the same song. Well. But you can't hear anything.

Doug: No, No,

Doug: no.

Doug: so

Doug: people that aren't wearing headphones don't hear the music, right? So, but in this one, they had two DJs. So you can switch from red and blue.

Doug: And so it was kind of funny like you'd be listening to music and be like, oh, this is dope This is dope and then you feel inferior because now you're listening to red But you see everybody partying to blue and you don't know what they're partying to so you Have to hit the button and all of a sudden you're like, oh, yeah,

Doug: you

Doug: know what I mean?

Doug: Yeah, it was really cool it was At one point I didn't have them on I was kind of like just watching And I wanted to see if I could figure out the song and all of a sudden I just saw like the whole play I mean, it was you know, probably like 200 people there And you just saw everybody listening to the one color.

Doug: They like, all hopped up, and I was like, Oh, maybe it's Cypress Hill, or, or not, um, House of Pain,

Josiah: Yeah, yeah,

Doug: right.

Doug: And then they just jumped once and then they, and then they did it again and like jumped up two times and all of a sudden they were like, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap. I was like, everybody clap.


[00:44:20] Karaoke Adventures
---

Doug: And I figured I clicked it on, but anyway, it was stupid, but that was, it was really fun. And then they had like a family karaoke night where this guy,

Doug: there

Doug: was a kid that did a Ed Sheeran song that, I mean, he wasn't a good singer, but everybody loved it. The whole bar, everybody in this place was supporting everybody that went up.

Doug: You know what I

Doug: mean? And did 

Josiah: do a song?

Doug: No, I got on the list too late. I was going to do, I was going to do just the friend by, because I wanted a song that I knew the

Doug: entire

Josiah: Oh, man, man,

Doug: And,

Josiah: You know, Ryan, the co host of

Josiah: season one of the Jokes by Joe show.

Josiah: he passed the torch to you. After my set

Doug: Oh, he was there?

Josiah: He was there.

Doug: I thought he

Josiah: he did. He was in town

Josiah: after my set. We go out for drinks. We go to this pints and pies love that place He gets

Josiah: he signs up for karaoke and while i'm bringing this up because you mentioned karaoke he does Otis, not Otis Redding. He does Louis Armstrong.

Josiah: Oh, okay.

Doug: What a wonderful world.

Josiah: Yes. Okay. But he does

Josiah: it 

Doug: with the voice.

Josiah: with

Doug: You have to do it with the

Doug: voice. I'll just play

Josiah: i'll just

Josiah: play a little bit of it.

Doug: and

Doug: you don't expect that out

Doug: of karaoke. No, no

Doug: Nice 

Josiah: you

Josiah: hear the girls, like, going crazy?

Doug: Very nice

Ryan Live Performance: the blue, me

Doug: is that Pints and Pies or is that

Doug: Volpe's? 

Josiah: Pies and

Doug: Oh, okay.

Doug: Alright. 

Ryan Live Performance: think to myself, What a wonderful world.

Doug: I mean, it sounds

Doug: fuckin just like him. That's pretty good, yeah. That's pretty good. I would've been coughing already.

Ryan Live Performance: white, The bright western tail, Welcome to my

Josiah: do a loop

Doug: Oh, he's walking, yeah,

Josiah: there was cute girls over here. I was like, you've got to walk towards these

Josiah: girls. 

Doug: yeah. She's 

Josiah: like, this,

Josiah: this one here ended up coming in, hitting on them later.

Doug: nice.

Doug: Usually you gotta hit on him and then

Doug: come. Yeah. But then She started out with the

Doug: Uh oh, little feedback. I like how he's walking the room. He's really doing it like he's like in Vegas.

Josiah: How do you not pay attention? Yeah. It was really good to see him. But anyway yeah, I, I don't really do karaoke, but he's, he's got a couple songs in the bank that he can do. What, which one were you going to do?

Doug: I was going to do Just a Friend only because I knew that that

Josiah: and they say he's just

Josiah: a 

Doug: Yeah,

Doug: by Biz Markie. So I knew that the bar was gonna Because everybody who was doing a song that they liked, the entire bar was singing along.

Doug: And it was really fun. It was really, really And that night Lauren had been there already so many nights. So, she, I, and Lauren's dad was leaving the next day. So

Doug: I

Doug: hung out with him for a little bit and then he was like, I'm going to bed and I was like, Oh, well, I'm going to go, you know, I'm on vacation.

Doug: So, and you know, drinks are free. So, so I went and was watching that, but there's these three guys that was the absolute best. They came and they were called the Florida boys. So they announced, okay, next up is the Florida boys.

Josiah: Oh, they had their own name

Doug: these three guys, look like offensive line, like offensive linemen, like they were like, you know, six, four, like 400 pounds.

Doug: And they come in, they come walking down this little ramp that they had. So the bar is up at the top and the singing is down here. And there was a ramp to get to that. So it was almost like they were coming out of the tunnel, like

Doug: for college.

Doug: football, you know what I mean? And everybody's like, all right, you know, what are they going to do?

Doug: And, uh, they do, uh, ushers, let it burn. And, and killed

Doug: it.

Josiah: Oh, wow And 

Doug: the

Doug: whole place, like, erupted. I seen them I don't know. I seen them later after that, like, during the trip. You know, you see them. And I was like, I told my wife about the next day. I was like, these three guys, the Florida boys. And then I seen them, like, at breakfast or something like that.

Doug: I was like, that's them! I was like, the Florida boys. What's up, man? Like that.

Doug: And you hear the one go, I told you we were gonna be famous. What's that? So, yeah, it was just a great time because you're seeing the same people for the whole

Doug: week. Right. Right.

Doug: They're keeping us busy. It was a magic show for the kids and, you know, and then there's a club that opens up every night

Doug: and stuff like that. So

Doug: it was, it was a lot, a lot of fun.

Josiah: Did it remind you of White Lotus at all?

Doug: I, I've, I've only heard of that. I haven't watched

Josiah: Oh, that's a great show.

Josiah: It's on HBO. You got to check

Doug: I, yeah, I've seen it advertised. I just haven't

Doug: watched 

Josiah: good,

Josiah: So good. They're actually doing a third season with Parker Posey.

Josiah: Uh, Parker Posey is one of the, um,

Doug: That little NA's ex's 

Josiah: No,

Josiah: she's, she, um, best in show. Have you seen any of Christopher guest movies? You're

Doug: You're saying? Stuff that doesn't make sense

Josiah: to

Josiah: me. Okay, So she

Josiah: is a famous improv actress.

Josiah: Okay,

Josiah: And she does a lot of stuff with Christopher Guest.

Doug: I, if I seen her, I probably know her.

Doug: Christopher

Josiah: is married to, 

Doug: does she have red hair?

Doug: She

Doug: the secretary that filled in for Pam on The Office?

Josiah: I don't think

Doug: Cause she's a big improv

Doug: artist.

Josiah: no, I don't think so. Waiting for Guffman.

Josiah: Best

Josiah: in show.

Doug: Nope. Juice? No.

Doug: Beach Street?

Josiah: no. Anyway,

Doug: Wild Style? 

Josiah: she's hilarious. I think she was also, I don't know.

Josiah: She's got a long

Doug: yeah, yeah, yeah. Very funny.

Doug: Yeah.

Doug: She's,

Doug: I'm sure if I've

Doug: seen 

Josiah: Yeah, yeah,

Josiah: You would know her. But speaking of karaoke, I wanted to remind you, or

Josiah: remind 

Doug: I

Doug: want to remind you, uh, 6 o'clock, the karaoke mic opens.

Doug: We're gonna be

Josiah: What the

Josiah: fuck I'm talking about.

Josiah: Um, so when we were in Europe last year we started off in Paris and then we rented a van and we drove to Italy and my, my wife has extended family in Italy and they threw a party for us on our last day and they had one of their friends who was into karaoke, bring his stuff and we did karaoke.

Josiah: Now, you're in a foreign country in Italy. What song do you do?

Doug: born on the 4th of July?

Josiah: Well ended up doing, and I'm, I don't know if you know about this. 

Doug: Proud to be an American.

Josiah: Adriano Celentano. He's an Italian artist. Okay. He said he's like from the seventies. Anyway, he said, I could, I could make a song. So all of his stuff in in the, in Italy would sell. All his English stuff. His English speaking stuff.

Josiah: It would sell. And so he said, I can make a song that's completely gibberish

Josiah: And it would sell. Because

Josiah: the people in Italy, they don't even speak English,

Josiah: but they 

Doug: They just like the melody of

Doug: it.

Josiah: So he made us, he makes a song in gibberish

Doug: and

Josiah: it will like top the charts.

Josiah: All right.

Doug: He's only

Doug: done it once or he made like an album?

Josiah: No, no, he just one song. All right.

Josiah: And 

Doug: know this song.

Josiah: And I, I did the,

Doug: Yeah, yeah,

Josiah: song

Josiah: I picked for karaoke

Doug: It's pretty fucking risky, dude

Josiah: But the people there, the, the Italians,

Josiah: they're like,

Josiah: this guy's a genius because not one English word. And I knew the story.

Josiah: So if you've ever wondered

Doug: like

Josiah: like

Josiah: to foreigners who don't, who

Josiah: don't speak

Josiah: English.

Josiah: Listen to this song. And this is, yes. And so let me, I'll just play this for you.

Doug: Yeah I

Adriano Celentano Live Performance: Please and call the names tonight's use all.

Adriano Celentano Live Performance: Beautiful, amazing, save one, please and call the names tonight's use all, all right!

Adriano Celentano Live Performance: In the shoes 

Josiah: I can't even pronounce the title. Prison, Colin, Essence, I don't know.

Doug: a dope song. It

Adriano Celentano Live Performance: now, I'm holding the scene, then I'll hold it right, maybe get to call the boss time.

Josiah: a dope song. It is, it's catchy.

Adriano Celentano Live Performance: Never sustain yet, little Joe, oh. In

Doug: And

Doug: this like went to number

Doug: one. in Italy. Yes.

Adriano Celentano Live Performance: the shoes now, I'm holding the scene, then I'll hold it right, maybe get to call

Josiah: So

Josiah: try doing karaoke to this.

Doug: yeah, yeah. This

Josiah: just gibberish stuff on the screen. And I'm trying to like pronounce it.

Doug: Did

Doug: you ever do this

Doug: song 

Josiah: I never did. Oh.

Doug: but you know the song? Did you know it well enough

Josiah: uh, sort of. I mean, it was. It was good.

Josiah: Yeah.

Josiah: I mean, I got a, a round of applause and

Doug: Yeah, yeah.

Doug: Nice. Yeah. I did,

Doug: uh, I do, my go to's are,

Doug: um, So,

Doug: I tend to do songs, because I can't sing, So, I tend to do songs where I'm trying to get the bar

Doug: to.

Doug: Sing along and they don't notice that I can't sing.

Doug: And so I do, uh,

Doug: you know, Earth, Wind and Fire's

Doug: September.

Doug: Because it's simple. It's just Ba dee da dee, you know what I mean? And Rock With You by Michael Jackson. I can usually kill that one. And but my, the one that I usually get the biggest round of applause is Tenacious D's Fuck Her Gently.

Josiah: Oh, I love that

Josiah: song.

Josiah: When 

Doug: I hit that note at the end, that gets, I mean, that's when they start applauding and I've done this in

Doug: different places.

Doug: It's not

Doug: just Jordan. I'll do it. I've done it in like random bars that

Doug: just 

Josiah: had we gotta, we have to find karaoke in Avalon and you have

Josiah: to do that 

Doug: there is a place. I think I saw a place.

Josiah: I would love to see

Josiah: that 

Doug: I

Doug: can't, but I think it's like an off night.

Josiah: You can't always fuck her heart. Oh,

Doug: I did it at the, the weeding out the stone? They did they said they said okay

Doug: for this

Doug: next thing you have to You

Doug: had to sing a song I forget what the singing of the song was or something like it was something like that So I went up to this guy in the front row with his with his girl and I was like, excuse me I said how long you guys been together and they were like for you know, blah blah blah the whole thing I said, yeah, I said I said is he good in bed

Doug: And

Doug: she you know, everybody's

Doug: laughing. I was like, I was

Doug: like, well, if not You

Josiah: here's a song.

Doug: Did

Josiah: you know all the words?

Doug: I know every word to that. I know every word to almost that entire album. I went, I've seen them in

Doug: concert. 

Josiah: have I. I love

Doug: I've seen them in Madison Square Garden. When they were doing the Pick a Destiny tour. Yeah. Yeah, I've seen them

Doug: then. Oh,

Josiah: wow. I saw them Dave

Josiah: Grohl came out. I saw

Josiah: them at the Electric Factory.

Doug: Oh, okay.

Doug: down in Philly? Yeah, Yeah,

Doug: I've been to a

Josiah: In Chinatown. 

Doug: a good, uh, that's

Doug: a good venue. Yeah. 

Josiah: Oh, man.

Doug: they're great.

Josiah: I love, I love.

Doug: did they have an intermission at the show that you were

Josiah: Yeah.

Doug: Did they do like a movie? Yes. Okay, because they did. Did they go to hell?

Josiah: No, it was a movie where, uh, Kyle Gass went down on Jack Black in the car and he sits up and he's got shaving cream all over his face and it was really funny.

Doug: was really funny. That's awesome.

Josiah: That's awesome. All right. 


[00:54:39] Comedy Workshop
---

Josiah: So we're just going to do we're wrap, we are wrapping up soon. I just wanted a workshop. And if you have any jokes, you want a workshop? I have like two, I want to run by you.

Doug: Yeah. I don't have, I, I wrote some stuff down recently in the past couple weeks, but I haven't worked them out as

Doug: a joke yet.

Doug: Okay, But I do

Josiah: so I have oh, she's got my phone. Fucking Coco. So the one I had was I don't know which, which version is better, but it's like, So my cleaning lady only

Josiah: let, 

Co-Co: Let's hear it. Lay it on me. I'm ready to help you workshop those jokes. What's the first one?

Josiah: so my cleaning lady only lets me fuck her with a

Josiah: condom on

Josiah: And that's why she's my fucking rubbermaid.

Josiah: okay

Josiah: so that's the one, you know, the rubbermaid. Or do you start it like a rubbermaid for leftovers? Or is a rubbermaid your cleaning lady that only lets you fuck her with a condom?

Josiah: You

Josiah: know, I don't know which one's

Doug: better.

Doug: I like just

Co-Co: That's a good start.

Co-Co: Here's a way to refine it and maybe give it a bit more 

Doug: I

Doug: think she's gonna try and

Doug: say the 

Co-Co: So, I've got this cleaning lady, right? And she has this one rule. I can only fuck her with a condom on. And that, folks, is why she's my Rubbermaid. Or, you could add a bit more setup to play with the audience's

Doug: No, Coco.

Josiah: hear the

Josiah: setup. 

Co-Co: know, they say good help is hard to find. Well, my cleaning lady is amazing.

Co-Co: She does a fantastic job, but she has this one rule. I can only fuck her with a condom on. And that's why I call her my Rubbermaid.

Josiah: not bad.

Doug: that's

Co-Co: because she cleans, but because she insists on the rubber. Both approaches highlight the wordplay on Rubbermaid effectively. Which one feels more in line with your style?

Josiah: Yeah. Thanks Coco. You can shut

Josiah: the fuck up now.

Josiah: My other one, it's not really a joke. It's just more of a thought. So you like the first one better first version.

Doug: Yeah. Yeah.

Josiah: My other one is kind of like about the immunity ruling the Supreme court brought down.

Josiah: And now you know, Trump's going to be able to get blown in the oval office by the head referee of this winning Superbowl team, because that'll be considered an official

Josiah: act.

Josiah: Yeah,

Doug: yeah, I, I, I just, I just read about that yesterday, so now I get it.

Josiah: it . I 

Doug: have got that if I didn't read the story

Josiah: I read the story

Doug: the story yesterday, because I was like, what, what deems an official act?

Doug: You know what I mean?

Josiah: mean? And they

Doug: they asked they asked the one guy, and they said Uh, the, the, I forget her name, um, one of the, uh, Supreme Court justices, she said so if

Doug: I can't,

Doug: I can't, I can't think of her name, but she said if, so if, if the president doesn't like their, like somebody, they can have the military

Josiah: Execute

Doug: execute this person.

Doug: They just don't like them. And would that be considered an official act? And the guy said, yes. the guy fucking said 

Josiah: guy arguing for Trump

Doug: right?

Josiah: take, he could order SEAL Team

Doug: Right. 

Josiah: to kill a rival. Yeah. We're

Doug: We're doomed. We're fucking doomed.

Josiah: are. Between AI and Donald Trump,

Doug: We, I'll take AI at this point.

Josiah: Let her run

Co-Co: That's a really interesting and darkly funny take on the Supreme Court ruling. Here's a way you could frame it into 

Doug: I don't, I don't want to hear this,

Doug: Coco.

Doug: No.

Co-Co: where they're

Josiah: you're done. You're done. You're

Doug: I don't want to hear it.

Josiah: We don't want to hear it. All right. What do you got, man?

Doug: I'm just looking at this. You know, I always say if I died

Josiah: and,

Doug: Or like getting in a car crash, and they, they go through the rubble, and they find my phone, and they see my notes, like for jokes, they, they, they're, oh, thank god this guy's dead.

Doug: Like,

Doug: this is a fucking 

Josiah: He's

Josiah: a 

Doug: that's just been there. Yeah, I got like, oh, I wanted to do a I wanted to

Doug: be the manager of a mime rapper. He's just a rapper that's a mime, right? So there's no actual words, but like, So I wrote, Mime rapper, blind people in, Not hear dead people singing

Doug: in the low.

Doug: Okay, so, So, he's a mime rapper,

Doug: right?

Doug: But the, yeah,

Doug: well, no, no, like he's,

Doug: yeah, he's just,

Doug: he's, yeah, but, But it's only for deaf people. Like, deaf people, He's, you know, on the top of the billboard charts for deaf people, you know what I mean? And and you go to his show but even blind people sometimes go to the show and they're just so fucking bored They're like this guy sucks.

Doug: I don't know. It was something I wrote down. I just read that after like, oh, what organ do I hope? Oh, what

Doug: what,

Doug: What organ do I hope I 

Josiah: What,

Josiah: What 

Doug: organ do I hope will be okay? If, cause I'm an organ donor. Like, which one will they go, Okay, that one we can use. Cause there's all the shit going on in here, They're gonna be like, Why the fuck are you, what are you, this is what you're donating? Like,

Doug: you

Doug: can't see out of those eyes. Your lungs are shit. Your liver you've torn

Doug: apart. like, what is it gonna

Doug: be?

Josiah: Oh. 'cause you drink and smoke

Josiah: and you

Josiah: Yeah. Have anal sex.

Doug: this point, it's my colon. My colon has gotten a I had the colonoscopy. I can donate my

Doug: colon. Your,

Josiah: your colon is signed off on.

Doug: I want to be the first colon transplant.

Josiah: Yeah, but wouldn't it be funny if they only were able to do half of it, so it ended up being a semicolon?

Doug: semi colon? Semi colon masculine? Nice.

Josiah: Okay, I think we should end there.

Doug: here on this.

Josiah: Fucking Coco, man. What the fuck

Josiah: is up with that? I don't know.

Doug: I think you're right. I think it's the speed. 

Josiah: just have to laugh.

Doug: Ha ha ha!